I Love Sending Christmas Cards

I don’t know why,  but I love to sending Christmas cards.  Some people call me crazy.  Some people think I am too in depth.  Some people think I spend too much time and or money.  I don’t care.  I love to do it!

I am very picky about the Christmas cards I send.  I don’t send cheap cards.  The cards I send have to have a nice picture on the front and a meaningful saying on the inside.  The cards I send hold a special meaning to me and I hope they mean something special to the receiver.  I am sending a part of myself and what I believe and what I hold deep in my heart.  I want them to be special.

I usually buy special pens to write on the inside with.  Sometimes I buy silver and gold pens and sometimes I buy red and green pens.  They can’t be any pen.  They have to feel nice in my hand and they have to write nice.  This year I didn’t like the silver and gold pens I bought so I used red and green pens I had at home instead.    I usually write the name of the person(s) in red, then I write Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in green and then I write love, steve and chrissy in red or vice versa.  Sometimes I do write special messages inside, but usually I don’t.

I usually address the front of the card with regular black or  blue ink, but in the middle of the back of the envelope I stamp a saying or picture.  This year I stamped a snowman holding up its arms and above his arms is a heart.  To me it looks like the snowman is giving the heart to the person who opens the envelope.

I love sending cards because I think it sets a good tone to the start of the Christmas season.  To me sending cards is sending love.  I’m letting the person know I am thinking of them this holiday season and that I love them.

I wrote out 29 cards today and I am not finished.  I send special cards to my mom, sister and her family and my brother and my other brother and his girlfriend.  I always give the mail man a card with $20 dollars in it.  I’m sending out more cards this year than I normally would because I think with all of tragedies that happened this year the world needs more love, more happy moments, more smiles, more giving and more caring.

Today I’m sending you, my beloved readers, virtual hugs, love and warm holidays wishes for a very happy holiday season. Thanks so much for reading my blog, your comments, for sharing your stories with me and for helping me grow and become a better person and writer.  Your support means more than you know.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love, Chrissy

 

 

 

 

I Interrupt My Vacation….

To be honest, we returned home after midnight last night and I am dead tired.  I just wanted to quickly share this fantastic book I starting reading on the plane with you.   I wanted to buy an easy read for my flight, but I didn’t find anything I liked so I picked up the book below:

Only Love Today by Rachel Macy Stafford.

This book is beautiful.  It is life changing.  It has touched me in ways I didn’t expect.  I was teary eyed on the plane and stopped reading for fear I would start crying uncontrollably.  (Not that that would be a bad thing.  I just didn’t want to start my vacation that way)  This book will help you become a better parent, friend, and person.  I highly recommend it.

Last week I commented on a blog called Wakinguponthewrongsideof50@wordpress.com  about healing stuff that happened in our childhood.  This book brought a lot of my issues from my childhood to the surface, showed me places where my inner child needs to be healed and gave me the words/phrases to help heal her.

I wish I had Rachel in my life when I was growing up.  Thank you, Rachel, for writing this beautiful book.  It’s worth every penny and more

Buy it.  Read it.  Live it.

I hope this book touches you like it has touched me.

LOVE….

Love is good

Love is kind

Love is patient

Love is healing

Love is energy

Love is motion

Love is fun

Love is laughter            .

Love is freedom

Love is tender

Love is sweet

Love is freeing

Love is trust

Love is great

Love opens doors

Love allows you to be who you are

Love allows your true self to come to the surface

Love is balance

Love is happiness

Love allows you to gain yourself

Love is always there for me

Love is open communication

Love is telling you about me

Love accepts faults

Love is excitement

Love works

Love is self-acceptance

Love lasts

Love is strong.

Love never ends

 

I thought this list was pretty cool.  I wrote it a long time ago.  The date on the white loose leaf page reads 10-19-1992.  I wanted to share it with you because with all of the bad things happening in the world we need to remember and focus on what love can do.

 

Love can change hearts

 

 

Why Do We Work? Surprise. Surprise.

Work.  It’s something most of us do 40+ hours a week.  But why?  Why do we work?  More importantly — why do you work?

Is it because it’s what you were told you were suppose to do since you were little?  Because you want things?  Because you have bills to pay and or kids to support?  Because you want to make your parents happy?

Do you have the job that you have because it’s your career and you love it?  Because it’s the job you have had since high school and you feel comfortable?  Because you need money now and you can go after your dream job later?

I have worked with the same company for the last twenty years.  I have had five different positions, but none of them really have fulfilled me.   I have always felt like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole at work.  I have always wanted to be a writer, but never went fully after my dream.

Until now.

Most of my job consists of  sorting and picking orders.  And the funny thing I realized last night while laying in bed is that my dad did the same job in a different company how thirty years ago.  I always was a daddy’s girl and I always wanted to be like him. Isn’t it weird that I would have the same job as he had and not realize it?  Am I that out of touch with my job self? If I always wanted to be like him then why wouldn’t I have the job as he had?

But the thing is is that I am not him.  I am me and I am an adult.  An adult who is capable of doing anything she wants and that includes being a writer.  I don’t have to be like my dad job wise.  I can be like him in other areas — honest, hard working, loving, kind, but I don’t have to do the same job he did.

Wow.  I didn’t realize I was doing this.  Why I am working in the same job as he did I don’t know.   Wait.  Yes I do.  On some level I still want to be like him even though I am 52 years old and thought I was way past this.  You would have thought I would have realized this sooner.   I wish I would realized this sooner, but now that I realized this I feel like a weight has been lifted from me.  I always wondered why I stayed at my job even thought it didn’t fulfill me.   It’s funny that the things that are the closest to us are the things we don’t see.

This isn’t how I wanted this post to go.  I have notes that I didn’t even look at (maybe I can use them for another post) because my truth came tumbling out of me.  This is the beauty of writing — you have a plan, but then sometimes it gets derailed and something better comes of it.  Sorry if parts don’t make sense.

I wonder what will happen now that I let go of the need to be who my dad was instead of being myself.  It’s not a bad thing that I was who I was, but now it will be interesting to see how things will change.  Maybe I will let go of my job.  Maybe more writing opportunities will present themselves.   Maybe a new me will emerge.  Maybe nothing will happen.  Who knows.

Please excuse me.  I have to go.  I’m going to starting revising the 2nd draft of my romance novel tonight.   Wish me luck!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fourth of July = grateful heart

The 4th of July always makes me teary eyed and very grateful for what I have.

Let me share with you what I am grateful for on this 4th of July:

I am grateful for my husband, my family, my in-laws and friends.  I am very lucky to have these people in my life.  They support us, guide us, and are there for us whenever we need them and for this I am grateful.

I am grateful for the four day holiday weekend the great company I work for gave me. It was very gracious of them to give us a floating holiday for Monday so that we could have a four day week.  I sure needed it!

I am grateful for the job that I have and the income it provides to have the things that I want and need.  I’m also grateful for the great friends that I have at work.  We are a tight knit group.  I couldn’t ask for better co-workers.

I am grateful I have the opportunity to write this blog, express myself and to share my story with people from all over the world and for them to share their story with me. Thank you!

I am grateful for the 5th wheel trailer and permanent campsite we have.  My brother has the campsite next to ours and my brother-in-law and his wife have the campsite next to my brother.  It’s close enough to  family and friends so that they can drive out  and share our weekend retreat with us.  I’m grateful for anti gravity lounge chairs.

I am grateful to have a nice ranch house with a beautiful back yard to rent and the upcoming house we are going to purchase.  Hopefully soon…..

I am grateful that I have a nice SUV to drive.  Today I drove back from the campsite alone — Journey blasting from my CD player  — along the Lake Michigan shoreline.  The views were gorgeous.  I love cruising!

I am blessed to live in the United States of America.  We have many freedoms other countries don’t and I try not to take my freedom for granted.  We are very fortunate and for that I am grateful.

God Bless the USA and all of the freedoms we have on this 4th of July.

I Pick Up Pennies

“Find a penny, pick it up, and all day you will have good luck” My dad would tell me he picked up a penny off of the ground.

Ever since I was little I remember my dad always picked up pennies and other coins and put them in his front pocket.  He always had change in his front left pocket.  I loved to listen to it jingle.  Every night he would empty his pocket and put the change into a decorative glass bottle.  My parents would use that money to go on vacation.

I would cringe as a teenager when my dad would check the coin return of a public phone or candy machine to see if anyone had left change in it and hoped nobody I knew saw him doing that.  I didn’t understand why he did that.  We weren’t poor.  We always had food on the table.  I just didn’t get it.

I started to save change when I was in high school.  I, too, had a decorative glass bottle (probably found at a garage sale) that I kept in the front left corner of my closet.  I could see my change bottle from my bed.  I was proud of my change.  “Dad, look at how much change I have!” I would say to him.   He would smile.  I picked up coins, too, but I didn’t dig in any coin returns.

30+ years later I still save my change.  My husband and I have a big Coke bottle bank that we put our silver coins in and a small Coke bank that we put our pennies in.  The big Coke bottle holds so much change we have to put it in two buckets when we take it to the bank.  We don’t use our change to go on vacation.  We use it as our emergency fund.

I even save our change when we go to Vegas.  I always have a plastic baggie in my purse and all our change comes home with us.  If someone leaves a ticket from a slot machine for a penny or seven cents I cash it in and put it in my change baggie.  So, in that way, I guess I am more like my dad than I realize.

I still pick up coins, but I look at it a little differently now.  Since my dad passed every time I pick up a coin I say “Hi Dad”.  For me they aren’t pennies from Heaven, they are coins from Heaven.  It’s my dad saying “hi” and letting me know he is with me.

I finally understand why he looked in those change returns.  It wasn’t because we needed money.  It was because it was free money and it added money to our vacation fund.  The more money that was in there the more stuff we could do.  I didn’t realize it then but my dad was teaching me a life long lesson.

Save your money.

And I do.  I have a cup in my truck that I put change in.  I have a small coin purse I keep change in at work.  My husband has a plastic coffee can in his semi.  We even keep our change at the trailer in a Coke straw holder we bought in Vegas.

Change is good!

 

 

 

 

 

I Miss My Dad Today

I’m not a big fan of Father’s Day since my dad passed away two and a half years ago.  It’s not the same.  It hurts and I don’t know what to do to fill that void.

I never thought I would be the one to go to the cemetery to visit his crypt or to put flowers in the vase or hang a teddy bear on the vase, but I do.  I want the people that look at his crypt to know he was loved and that we visit to show our love.

Instead of spending time with him today I went to his crypt.  Even though it’s been two and half years I still get teary eyed.  I miss him so much.  I was daddy’s girl and now I’m without a daddy and I hate it.

Today when I kissed my hand and then touched my hand to his name on the crypt it sounded like a hollow knock.  For a brief moment I wondered if he would answer, but then I remembered where I was and that that wasn’t possible.

I wish I could open the crypt and give him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I don’t doubt he’s around.  I can feel his presence.  When I smell cigarette smoke when no one else is around I know he’s with me.  I hated the fact that he smoked so now he’s picking on me from the other side with the smell I hate and he’s probably laughing about it.

I miss him.

I miss seeing him sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette.

I miss him joking around.

I miss him saying “Hey kid”.

I miss him asking me “How the big guy (my husband)?” when I walked in the front door.

I miss watching football with him.

I miss his hugs and his smile.

I miss my dad.  My life isn’t the same without him.

I miss him.

Every. Single. Day.

Father’s Day is the hardest day to get through because I know other people are spending time with their dad and I’m not.

When I walked around the campground this morning I saw a family with four small kids — two boys and two girls — and it brought me back to when I was young and my mom, dad, my two brothers, and my sister would go camping in our pop-up.

He was a good dad and a good man.  He taught me to smile, to be nice and to always give back.  And he taught me to shoot pool like a shark.  He had such a big heart and was a very giving man.

Happy Father’s Day Dad.   Thank you for all that I am and all you have given me.

I love you.