Why? Part 2

I’m apologize if I sounded kind of cold in my last post

I just wanted you to know I will be there for sister, my niece and my mom. I talked to my sister this morning. I’ve been texting with my niece since she’s at school. I spent time with my mom yesterday.

I think what I was trying to say is that I’ve been in shock these last couple of days and stuck in the grief of what this family is going through. Even though I feel bad for the family I can’t stay stuck in this grief. I have to move forward. I’m sorry if this sounds cold.

Death makes you think about things. It makes you realize what is important. It makes you realize that life is short and you have to go after your dreams because you might not have tomorrow. It makes you realize you still have work to do.

At least that is what is brought up for me. I still have a lot of writing to do. Love and help to give. Growing to do.

A better person to be.

Why?

The daughter of my sister’s good friend, D, and her husband committed suicide over the weekend.

It’s very, very sad. She was only 20. She was depressed and had mental health issues.

At 4 pm yesterday afternoon a vigil for the her was held at the park she ended her life in. Halfway thru the vigil the sheriff’s department came to deliver bad news. Very bad news. D’s dad was killed in a car accident on the way to the vigil.

D loses her daughter one day and her father the next.

It’s heartbreaking. Its unbelievable. Its devastating.

For the last two days I keep asking why? Why did she take her life? Why did he die? Why is this family going thru this much pain?

This is what I was going to focus on this post on until I read something on Facebook tonight that was changed my focus. The thought was this:

Instead of focusing on why something happened focus on what you can learn from the situation.

What an interesting concept. It empowers you. It keeps you positive.

So instead of focusing on the grief and tragedy of this situation I’m going to send prayers and love to the family. I’m going to hold my family close and be grateful for what I have.

I’m above ground today and that is a good thing. I still have my purpose to fulfill. I’m here for a reason.

Thank you, God, for giving me this day. I can’t let grief swallow me and keep me captive. I must move on.

What Is The Purpose Of My Office?

We have been in our new house almost a year and a half. I was so excited to buy the house because it meant I had my own office. I could gave my own space to put my own stuff in.

Today I’m frustrated. I have been frustrated for awhile. My office just isn’t functioning the way I thought it would. I thought it would fall into place because I had the space. Silly me.

Above is the corner that I am unhappy with. I have nowhere to set the writing projects or any projects I am working on. That’s probably why I have stuff on the living room coffee table yet.

I need to put some thought into this.

What is the purpose of my office? This is a question I’ve been asking myself off and on for the last couple of weeks. I think if I can figure out the purpose I’ll know what to put in the corner.

There are three things I want my office to be. I would like my office to:

1. be my writing sanctuary.

2. have a place to explore who I am creatively and get to know my creative self better.

3. To have a space to put my writing projects and other creative projects on so they aren’t all over the living room.

Right now my office is none of these things and that needs to change.

I’ll let you know how things go and show you pics at that time.

Have a great day!

I Hate Self Checkout

I had to go to Meijer after work tonight. Usually I wait at an open register until someone notices me and checks me out.

The only problem is that they didn’t have any open checkouts tonight. You know, the kind where the cashier actually checks you out instead of watching you do her job.

I think this whole self checkout is absolutely ridiculous.

Did I mention I hate it?

Why should I check myself out? I can see if I want to do this or if I like to do this, but I dont. I’d rather not check myself out. That’s what they get paid to do or used to get paid to do. Now they get paid to watch and assist you.

I don’t understand why the cashier can stand and watch me check out, but she can’t check me out. She gets paid to stand there and watch me do her work. There’s something wrong with this picture.

Do you remember a couple of years ago when the big hype was that kids don’t know how to play with other kids because they are playing with their electronics by themselves?

Aren’t we headed in the same direction here? We aren’t communicating with the cashier unless we have a problem. We can run in and out of the store without talking to anyone by doing everything ourselves.

Do you see where I am headed here?

I like to go to the store and talk to my favorite cashier. There’s a connection there and I feel we are losing this. The whole talking and sharing thing.

I can see if you need to run in for one or two items and don’t want to stand in line to check out then it’s fine to go through self check, but I dont feel its for a person with more than 10 items.

You are already buying their products and spending your hard earned money in their store now they want you to work for free as well? That’s crap.

I’m not a big fan of self checkout so whenever I can make a cashier check me out I do.

Maybe some day my attitude will change toward this but until this happens my opinion stands.

I hate checking myself out and don’t do it unless I absolutely have to. It’s their job. Not mine.

End of story.

The First 15 Days of August

Here’s a list of the nice things I did for myself the first 15 days of August. No. 1 is what I did for myself. No. 2 is my writing self. No. 3 is my money self.

August 1

  1. I didn’t work overtime.
  2. Wrote blog post.
  3. Balanced my checkbook.

August 2

1. I didn’t work overtime and I didn’t sign up for Saturday. 2. If I didn’t do anything I’m leaving it blank. 3.

August 3

1. Listened to story of Henry Ford on public radio on my way home from trailer. Very interesting. 2. Wrote for an hour. 3. Wrote in my journal about money issues.

August 4

1. Went to a fry out at my brother’s house. 2. Looked at my writing goals for the rest of the year. Not on track, but getting there. 3. Printed off Tracking My Money from RichBitch.com. I love her!

August 5

1. Slept in. 2. 3.

August 6

1. I started work at 2 p.m. instead of 1. No overtime for me today. 2. Started to reconfigure my office to make it more functional. 3. Worked on garage sale stuff.

August 7

1. 2. Started to read a writing book. Creative Visualization for Writers. 3. Gave myself permission to be wealthy. I have issues with it being ok for me to have more than enough money.

August 8

1. More purging. 2. Wrote blog post. 3. Wrote out checks and figured out register because usually I don’t.

August 9

1. Went to garage sales. 2. Wrote blog post on phone. 3. Dropped off my garage sale stuff by my brother’s house.

August 10

1. Had Date Day with my husband. We went to a truck show. Had a blast! 2. 3. Found my husband shorts at Kohl’s for 50% off. Yeah!

August 11

1. Cut down 7 trees. We no longer have to worry about them falling on the college’s power grid. Yeah! 2. 3. Don’t need to spend money on wood for the fire pit at home or trailer. Have plenty!

August 12

1. 2. Wrote for an 1 1/2 at the library. 3. Made $6.00 at the garage sale on Friday.

August 13

1. Slept in. 2. Typed a draft of article I’m working on. 3.

August 14

1. Slept in. 70 degrees. Great sleeping weather! 2. Wrote a schedule of writing projects. 3.

August 15

1. 2. Wrote notes for a post on how nonfunctional my office is. 3.

Wow! This post is not how I thought it would turn out. I thought it would be more exciting and motivating.

It’s not very exciting. I didn’t get a lot of writing done. I’ve been working on making my office more functional.

I did have a couple of ah!! moments here stuff clicked and I moved a step forward on my path.

I realized through my journal pages that I have a lot of money blocks/beliefs. Such as: I can’t make more money than my parents and I can’t have money because I’m ugly. I collected these wonderful beliefs somewhere along the line and now it’s time to let them go. I’m working on it.

I’m learning more about myself every day and that is cool. Making myself happy has made me stronger and more vocal. I know what I want and I can tell you what I want which is something I struggled with in the past.

All in all was a good 15 days.

I cant wait to se what the next 15 days bring!

QP My Painting Project

I’m doing something I have never done before. I’m taking a risk and hoping for the best.

I’m painting a coffee table for my office today.

Sorry the picture isn’t the greatest but it gives you an idea of what I’m painting. There is a wooden door that goes on the middle cabinet that my husband took off.

I’m definately going out of my comfort zone today. I’m nervous but excited.

I’ll let you know if what I picture in my head is going to work. I’m thinking about painting the door and the legs yellow and the rest of it teal. I would like to stencil words or something on the top of it in yellow.

I’m home alone today so you’ll never know what might happen.

Wish me luck!