Category: Uncategorized

This is my mantra for 2020.

Finishing the unfinished.

Since I somewhat decluttered my house last year, I feel this year should about getting stuff that is swimming around in my head finished. Unfinished projects. Unfinished writing. Unfinished chores.

I have 36 things on my list so far and I’m sure I’ll add more throughout the year. The list includes: dealing with certain financial items, going through my bin of blog writings and ideas, figuring out what color to paint the living room and dealing with my feet issues among other things.

I have been putting this stuff off due to a lack of time or not knowing where to start or just plain laziness.

My first project was to clean out the two drawers in my coffee table. I’ve been throwing stuff in these drawers for the last couple of months that I didn’t have time to deal with. In the drawers I found two old journals and a new one I recently started. Greeting cards. Pens and pencils. Notepads. Money! Old bank receipts. Store receipts. Two books. Lottery tickets. Stamps. Outdated coupons.

A whole lotta junk!

I dont have a before pic bit here’s the after pic.

I’m not sure if this is the stuff I want in the drawers but for now it’s ok. I think I might want to store other things in them. I’m not sure, but at least they are clean and organized.

One thing that I do know is that it felt good to get rid of all of the old crap.

I can cross one thing off of my list.

Yeah!

My list of projects has been taking up space in my head for weeks, months and even years. It’s stagnant and needs to be dealt with.

I can see the postive changes in my life from letting stuff go. I hope dealing with my unfinished projects brings more postive changes and clarity.

I’m ready.

One thing I want to do in 2020 is learn how to draw. Maybe a more accurate term would be to be more creative. To get what is in my head on paper. No matter how good or bad it looks.

Perfection.

This is what has been holding me back all these years. I want what I draw or create to be perfect. I want it look exactly like it does in my head when it gets on paper.

Impossible. Unrealistic. Stupid.

I need to be more patient, encouraging and loving with artistic self. My drawing is going to take time. Time to take shape. Time to develop. Time to get better.

Today, I’m sharing with you my first drawing. My first piece of artwork and I’m already down on myself because I dont want to know what to define it.

To me art is flowers or a building or paint splattered on paper.

Mine is definately not is that.

I’m beating myself up because I dont think what I m doing is art.

Silly isn’t it? I’m blocking my own way before I even start.

I need to be gentle with myself. My creativity isnt like anyone else’s. Its mine. It’s going to be unique. One of a kind. It’s going to have flaws. It wont be perfect.

Just like me. I’m unique. I have flaws. And I’m sure not perfect.

Here is my creative piece for this week.

What?

I know. This shows you how much of a beginner I really am.

This is my starting point.

Every week of this year I will have a word. A positive, uplifting word that will be my focus for the week.

This is the reason why the word for the Week 1 is begin.

I chose the word begin because it’s a new year. If I want to learn how to be more creative I have to begin somewhere. So why not now!

What I want to do is begin to get what is in my head out. To experiment. Try new things. Using whatever strikes my fancy. Today I used Crayola colored pencils, Scribble Stuff Flourscent gel pens, a Advantus ruler and stencils from Yoobi.

I came up with the road theme (I hope you could tell it was a road) from one of the girls at work saying “the word on the street is”. Since I live in the country I took it one step further and called it:

Word From a Country Road

I already have an idea for what next week’s road is going to look like even though I have no clue what word I’m going to choose. I ordered metallic and neon colored pencils from Amazon today! There’s a lot of ideas swimming around my head that I can’t wait to explore.

I dont know if this post even makes sense. I took a chance today and began something I’ve been wanting to do for months.

Start.

Begin.

To begin instead of dreaming about it. It felt good to be creative today. To let the ideas flow and explore them. To be me. Imperfect. Flawed. Not sure how to do it.

I have no idea where this us going to go. If anywhere. Theme wise. Word wise. If it fizzes out fizzes out.

I began.

I took action.

I tried.

I’m proud of myself.

What a great way to start the new year!

A new year.

A new decade.

A new start.

A new perspective.

A new direction.

We have 366 days.

366 mornings

366 afternoons

366 evenings

To start something new or continue to move forward to make your dreams come true.

8,760 hours

525,000 minutes

31, 536,000 seconds

I know the direction I need to go in. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what I want to do and what my goals are.

I’m ready!

Welcome 2020. I can’t wait to see what you bring.

Tomorrow is the end of the year and century.

Wow! Where did the time go?

I usually don’t the time to reflect on the past year. It’s usually go to work, Christmas, work, New Year’s and then back to work.

Always rushing my way through life.

This year is different. I’ve changed. I’ve slowed down. Well, at least tried. I’ve been good to myself. I’ve put myself out there and tried different things.

I’ve let go of of a lot of things. Mentally, emotionally and stuff. Beliefs and attitudes.

I’ve become stronger, more outspoken and not willing to put up with people’s crap.

Since I have changed, I think my blog should change, too. I have a new vision for 2020, new tag line and a new secondary focus that blends with my new vision.

I’m letting go of 2019. The sadness and anger. The doubts and negative beliefs. The not feeling I deserve anything. The old me.

I going to walk into 2020 with open eyes, love in my heart and a clear mind. Positive. Happy. Moving forward.

I’m going to kick some butt in 2020.

Goodbye 2019. Thanks for being good to me.

I’m not sad about 2019 ending because I know great things are waiting for me in 2020.

I can’t wait!

Christmas is full of magic, wonder and Santa Claus. Beautifully decorated trees and yards. Perfectly wrapped presents. Precisely planned meals.

As I wrap the last of my presents, I wonder why we do this to ourselves every year. We rush around looking for the perfect presents for family and friends and coworkers and even the mailman, the cutest wrapping paper and getting food for that perfect meal. We clean our houses til they are spotless. We rush. Rush. Rush.

By the time Christmas rolls around we are exhausted and maxed out.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

While trying to make everyone else happy, we are forgetting about the most important person in our lives.

Ourselves.

We are so busy doing what is expected of us and doing what everyone else is doing, we forget about ourselves.

Why?

I’m exhausted. For the last three weeks I’ve been working 58 hour weeks. My mom was in the hospital Monday and yesterday.

When do we say enough is enough and put ourselves first?

I would really love to opt out of Christmas today and lay on the couch and watch Christmas movies, but I won’t. I’ve got to wrap the rest of these presents and bring them to my brother’s house and then my sister in laws house. Steve will be getting home later on today.

It’s expected if me.

But why? Why do we let tradition rule our lives? Back in the day life was different. Slower. Easier. It is different today. The world works at a different pace now.

I would like to start a different tradition. How about a day of giving ourselves what we need? Letting our souls rest. Listening to our intuition and doing what we really need and want.

How about heading into the new year relaxed and rested?

What a beautiful thought.

Just wanted to share what’s going thru my head on this Christmas morning. I will definately thinking about new traditions becuase I’m not sure these work for me anymore. I will definately be thinking about this throughout 2020.

I hope you take time to relax and do something you enjoy today.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Someone wants to buy the chair I have for sale on Marketplace. She messaged me this morning to see if it was still available.

My heart sank. I told myself that if it didn’t sell I could keep it.

I messaged her back admitting it was still available

As many of you know, I’ve been purging off and on for the last year or more. On some days it’s been easy because in my heart I know that certain item needs to go. Other days I struggle to let go of something.

Today is one of those days.

I put this wooden chair on Marketplace a couple of weeks ago.

It’s really nothing special. It has a couple of dings. A couple of paint dribbles. It came with my desk that my husband bought me for my birthday. It wasn’t comfortable to sit on so I bought a regular office chair.

I don’t miss it.

It sits in the sunroom unused. My husband wonders why it’s still here if we aren’t using it. (Yes. He’s my getting rid of stuff partner!).

I haven’t shared with him the reason the chair is still in the house.

Why? Loop

It brings me anxiety thinking about getting rid of it. What if I need it? What if people come over and we need sn extra chair? I feel like I’m going to have this huge void in my life if it’s not here. In a room. That I maybe go in once or twice a month.

I thought about writing this post at least twenty times which is probably as many times as I thought about taking it off of Marketplace. I thought if I wrote about it I could figure out why I am so anxious to let it go.

The chair means nothing. I haven’t used it in over a year. Maybe once to look on top of the frig. Am I going to use it again? Maybe next time I look on top of the frig. Honestly no. I really dont think so.

Bottom line is I dont need this chair. It takes up space. It’s never used. I dont even remember it’s in the sunroom half of the time.

I have to let it go. Even if it causes me anxiety. If I need a chair in the future I can go to Goodwill and buy one or I can borrow one. There are other options. This isnt the end of the world. It’s not heirloom.

She’s coming over on Sunday to pick up the chair.

That’s if I don’t change my mind… before that….

In my part of the world, my farmer neighbors are still harvesting corn and plowing fields.

This picture was taken a couple weeks ago, but the fields look the same today. It doesn’t look good but it can still be harvested. Weird.

It hasn’t been a very nice spring, summer or fall for any of the farmers. It was very rainy. The snow came early. It wasn’t good.

I was standing in the kitchen at 2 am two nights ago and saw headlights. This is not normal. There isn’t a road back there. When I looked closer I saw a tractor plowing the field in back of my house.

At two am. 15 degrees outside.

And he’s plowing.

I was in awe. Humbled. Grateful.

This farmer is plowing his field to get it ready for next year so that we have something to eat.

Thank you farmer.

Before I lived in farm country, I basically blew off farmers. I got mad when they drove slowly down a country road when I needed to get somewhere. I didn’t understand why they wore their farm clothes to fleet farm. I hated the smell of manure when I drove on the highway.

I appreciate them now because I realize how hard they work. Up at the crack of dawn. I can hear the farm machinery pull out of their driveway in the morning. And they work til sunset. When we were working outside this summer I knew it was going to get dark soon because the farm machinery was pulling in the driveway.

Now when I see farm machinery on the road I wave and smile. Only farm machinery can fit on a narrow country road. Instead of being irritated, I now I just pull into the closest driveway, let them go by and go on my merry way.

I used to hate the smell of manure when I was driving through the country. It was funny because I would roll up my window and plug my nose. My husband would smell it and say “Ahhhh home.”

The other day I walked out of my house and smelled manure and smiled. It is home. I am grateful. I finally understood what he meant.

Yes, I am chaging into a country girl. I now understand somewhat what the farming life is all about. At least a little bit.

I’m grateful for the farmers, for their hard work and dedication and for the food I eat.

Thank you farmers!!! ❤❤❤