My Wedding Dress

My wedding dress has been in a box in the basement for the last 12 years.

Will I ever wear it again?

I don’t think so. I would have to lose 20 pounds to get into it and I don’t see that happening.

Then why do I keep it?

I don’t know.

Usually I don’t think about it or even remember it’s down there, but yesterday I moved all the items out of one room in the basement so my husband could put up shelving to organize stuff better.

Every so often I think about letting it go.

I could donate it to the hospital. They have someone make funeral dresses for babies who are born stillborn. I know this may sound morbid, but it needs to be done. Bless the person that does this.

Sometimes I think about giving it to the thrift store or bringing it to the consignment shop, but that gives me a bad feeling in my stomach.

I never opened the box since it came back from the company I sent it to to get it cleaned to preserve it or whatever they do. I think about opening the box but will I wreck any thing by doing so?

I dont open it.

I sometimes wonder if I let go of my dress does that mean on some level I am letting go of my marriage?

When I think about letting go of my dress this is the question I ask myself. Will letting go of the dress unravel my marriage and will I end up divorced?

I know it’s a little silly to think this way. I think I’m a little superstitious in this respect.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Do you still have your dress? Why?

My mom thinks I should keep it because maybe I will celebrate 25 years. I would be 69 and my husband will be 67. Will we even be alive then?

I’ll probably keep it.

Just wanted to share what thoughts were rolling around in my head this morning while I lay in bad and write this.

Maybe I will look at what is in the box this morning as I’m putting stuff the shelves in the basement…

Gratitude Saturday.

I am grateful for pretty much everything this week.

My husband was stuck at a food warehouse in Temple, Texas for three days this week.

It was a nightmare for him and the 200 other drivers stuck at that facility and the millions of other people in Texas.

There a ton of things I am grateful for.

Heat. Running water. Electricity. Bathrooms. Clear roads. Stores that have food on the shelf. Gas stations that have gas. Fast food restaurants that are open and have food. Showers.

The little/big things we take for granted every day.

I usually don’t worry about my husband, but this week I was worried. He doesn’t carry a gun. I was worried about someone stealing his gas during the night ot looting. Some of the drivers had been waiting since Sunday to get unloaded. You never know what can happen. People get pissy…..

I’m grateful the National Guard was there during the day handing out food and water.

I’m grateful for H E B for providing the drivers food and water and having a bathroom for the drivers

I’m grateful to all of the truckers every day for all they do. If they weren’t out there doing what they do we wouldn’t have what we have. Clothes. Food. Gas.

I’m grateful for the people who go the extra mile for my husband.

I’m grateful that my husband is on his way home and that I have another day with him.

He’s the love of my life and I would be lost without him.

Writing Projects and Goals For 2021

A couple of weeks ago I read an article on line “Why Throwing out the ‘Old Bananas’ is Imperative to Your Success”  by Gabrielle Garrett.

According the Gabrielle you’re only suppose to have 3 or 4 projects (ripe bananas) that you are currently working on on your desk.  If you have more than that you are putting those projects on the back burner and they are rotting. They need to be removed because they are taking up space in your mind and on your desk.

I totally get that.

My office is filled with rotten bananas.  Unfinished novels and short stories.  Non fiction books.  Essays.

She’s right. They are clogging my mind and office.

After reading the article I decided to put all of the files in my filing cabinet (children’s book ideas, essay ideas, novel ideas) in a bin and put them in the basement.

I had essay and short story files that I worked on once in awhile on my desk and on my coffee table.  I picked out two that I wanted to work on and I put the rest in two small bins with a list of what files are in the bin.

The four writing projects I choose to work on are as follows:

Jane

I started writing thos novel for NaNoWriMo last November, but didn’t finish the 1st draft.

My goal is to have the first draft finished by March 31, 2021.

5 Minute Memoir

I’ve been working on this essay to submit to Writer’s Digest for the last two years.  (really rotten banana!)  I keep changing direction and never finish.

My goal is to have this finished and submitted by March 31, 2021.

If You Didn’t Like The Way The Election Turned Out

This article idea came to me after President Biden won the election.  I have a bunch of notes, but I need to complete the essay.

I would like to have the 1st draft of this done by March 15, 2021 and a market in mind to submit it to.

100 Items In 30 Days

As I was letting go of 100 items last October I wondered why I wasn’t writing a book about it.

I was thinking about writing a Kindle book.  Actually 3 books.  I don’t know anything about Kindle so I don’t know if it’s going to work or not, but I want to see what my options are. 

Book 1    100 items in 30 days

Book 2    The next 100

Book 3     Decluttering your work life

The first handwritten draft of book 1 is almost done.  Book 2 and 3 are a bunch of notes in a file.

My goal for Book 1 is the to finish the handwritten draft by March 1st and the typed draft by March 31 and to read five books on Kindle publishing.

Wow!  I have a direction.

Now I have to come up with a schedule.  I’ll have to think about this for awhile.  I’m not sure what is going to work, but I will figure something out.

I sold the end table last week.  It was just a dumping ground for my unfinished writing projects.  

I replaced it with the six cube organizer pictured below.   A cube for each of my writing projects. 

It’s not organized the way I want it to be, but for now it works.

My office isn’t completely organized.  I’ll write about it when is it.

I feel good about my four projects and my direction.

I’ll keep you posted!

It Starts With Me

On Thursday a coworker told me not to expect cookies at work.

Cookies, in her terms, is praise.

If I go above and beyond at work am I wrong to expect praise?

The reason I wanted praise is two days prior I asked my boss if I could help out in a different area because a person quit and that area was behind. She agreed. The next day I went to that same area without asking and helped out.

I was telling my coworker that it would have been nice to hear the following:

Hey, Chris. You did a great job today. Thanks for helping out.

or

Thanks for taking the initiative. I appreciate it.

Something.

Anything.

But I heard nothing.

She doesn’t believe in praise. She believes we are there to work and that’s it.

Sorry, but I’m not a robot.

Is it wrong to want to hear praise for taking the initiative without being told? For going above and beyond? For doing a good job?

I don’t need to hear it every day. Every week. Or even every month.

But sometimes it would be nice to hear.

And this week was one of those times.

I can’t tell you the last time I heard praise from management.

After being pissy about this for a day a light bulb came on.

Why don’t I give myself the praise I so desperately want to hear?

Hey, Chris, you did a good job today. I’m proud of you.

So I did.

You know what? It made me happy. I stood a little taller.

I felt good.

Then I heard my mom’s voice in my head.

“You’re getting too big for your britches.”

“Who do you think you are?”

My mom wasn’t much into praise either.

This was my answer to her.

It is not wrong to be acknowledged and noticed for what I do at work.

I know my worth.

And I deserve praise for a job well done even if I have to give it to myself.

Well done Chrissy!

I think sometimes the importance of words are forgotten.

Positive words.

Empowering words.

Healing words.

We all need to hear them.

Words do our hearts good. Our minds good. Words heal us. Empower us. Make us stand taller. Conquer things. Reach our potential.

Words are an important part of self care and for our over all well being.

I don’t think management understands this concept.

I don’t agree with my coworker. A lot of people think she’s a bully. She’s a little rough around the edges.

But she taught me something on Thursday.

Words matter at work.

If I want management to start praising me, then I need to praise myself.

I don’t praise myself at work. I never thought about it. I just thought it was management’s job.

That’s going to change.

I’m going to speak different to myself at work. I’m going to be positive.

I know it’s going to be weird.

It feels weird just writing about it.

I think my next step is how I want to be treated at work by management. I’ve never really thought about this at length before.

This post was suppose end with how we can be kinder and more supportive of others on this Valentine’s Day.

But maybe it’s really about being nicer to ourselves.

About praising ourselves more.

Loving ourselves more.

And moving on from what doesn’t support us.

Don’t wait for others to tell you what to hear.

Tell yourself. Back yourself. Love yourself.

You deserve it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!! 😘

Finishing The Unfinished 2021

One of my goals for 2021 is to finish the list of unfinshed tasks I had for 2020.

The 2020 list had 31 items on it.

I finished 8.

I have 23 items to go.

Until yesterday.

I finally cleaned out the last kitchen cabinet.

I’m embarrassed to show you this, but I will any way. This is what my cabinet looked like.

Yeah. It was bad.

Yesterday I took everything off of the two bottom shelves, cleaned and reorganized them. It took me an hour and a half but it was well worth it.

Here is a picture of the containers and stuff I tossed.

I don’t know why I kept all of that stuff and left the cupboard that disorganized for so long. It was such a pain the butt to get items out because I just tossed items in. I’m lucky everything didn’t fall out.

Heres what it looks like now.

Much better.

I smile everytime I open it.

One thing crossed off my list for 2021.

22 more to go.

Savings And Journal Update

I saved $118 in January.

Here’s a picture of the envelopes.

I didn’t think it would add up that quick, but it did.

How cool is that!

I started to read two journals this week. They brought up a lot of emotion from the past for me which is good. It has allowed me to let that emotion go and move on.

I didn’t finish either journal, but I started.

I’m good with that.

I’m also letting go of 7 items.

Have a great day!

Two Journals A Week

As many of you know I have been on the fence for the last two years on what to do with the four small bins of journals I have.

Do I keep them?

Do I toss them without reading them?

I can’t toss them without reading them, but if I die tomorrow I don’t want anyone reading them. I don’t know why I can’t toss them without reading them. It’s kinda silly.

I’ve decided to read two journals each week in 2021 starting tonight. I will read two journals and tear out the pages that speak to me and toss the rest.

This is the only way I can figure out how to deal it.

Here are the two journals I will be reading this week.

I hope this works.

Wish me luck!

Letting Go Of 20 Books

Last week I have went through all of my books and I am let go of 24 books.

I’m bringing four books to the consignment shop next week. I took ten to the bookstore that will pay me a little bit in trade. I put eoght in the donate box.

It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but it wasn’t easy either.

When you let go of stuff you let go of dreams. My dream was to have a whole wall of books in my office. Why? I don’t know. Maybe because that’s what other writers had in their offices.

I may not have a wall of books, but here is what I have.

I kept books I love. Books that I sometimes reference back to. Books that I will read at some point.

It felt good to go through my books and let some go.

This month my goal was to let go of 30 items. I hit that goal.

I also let go of a bra, three pairs of underwear, a pair of socks and a yoga dvd.

I do have goals for 2021 and I will share them with you in the beginning of February.

I’ve been taking it easy this month. At work we are still on 10 hours and Saturdays. The virus is still a concern there. I feel like a dodge it every day. I’m trying to get enough rest and take care of myself.

It feels good to write a post again.

I will definately be posting more in February.

I miss sharing my life with yiu.

Happy Friday!

Sunday night was our last night in Vegas.  While I was waiting for husband to finish playing a slot machine before we went to our room for thenight I put a $20 on the Can Can machine.  On my first spin I got the bonus round and received 8 free spins.

Twice I was 2 clicks away from winning $8,970.

Twice I grabbed my husband’s leg and said, ‘That would have been so cool!”

“They like to tease you,” he replied.

I don’t agree.

To me, it means possibility.  It’s possible that I could win $8,790.  It’s possible more money can come into my life.

I like possible.

After breakfast the next morning I played The Wizard of  Oz slot machine and landed the bonus twice.  I won $126.35

Three hours later and about ten minutes before we had to leave for the airport I landed the bonus on The Voice slot machine.  I won $112.63.

It figures.  I’m on a hot streak and we have to leave.  Grrrrr.

Last night on the way home I bought a couple of lottery tickets.  A little treat to myself for working 10 hours.

I scratched a $1 packer ticket.  The winning number was eight.  I. Had 5 eights.  Ididnt get too excited. I figured I was going $5.  Maybe $50.

I won $500!!!!!

Yeah me!!!!

Yes, I am lucky but I have been preparing for this. 

How? You ask.

For the last three or four months I have been listening to money and millionaire affirmations on you tube before I go sleep.

A week before we went to Vegas i started repeating this phrase to myself:

People love to give me money.

That week I found pennies and dimes on the ground.  Even a dollar.  I’ve had coupons for a dollar or two off of my next shopping trip print out for me at the register.  I even found a dollar bill on the ground in Vegas.

Nothing major.

Until now.

I can’t wait to see what comes next.

I truly believe that letting go of all of that stuff  (along with the affirmations) has cleared the way for money to come into my life.

I’m saving the money and spending it on something to do with my writing.  I want a new computer.  What I won is almost 1/2 of the cost. 

I’ll let you know what I decide.

I must go and fill out the lottery paperwork to claim my prize.  I’ll send it in and in a week or so I will have my money in hand.

Yes!!!

Happy Friday!

My Savings Plan For 2021

I don’t know if I shared my savings plan with you at the beginning of last year.  I saved each week until the pandemic hit and stopped.

I’m going to try again this year.

Here is how it works:

Get 52 envelopes. Mark envelopes 1 – 52.  Each week pick an envelope.  Whatever number is on the envelope is the amount of money that is put into the envelope.

Total saved for the year is $1,378.

I bought cute neon envelopes, but there was only 50 on the box so I had double up on two envelopes.

In the top left corner I wrote Date Pulled so I can write the date I put the money in the envelope.

I bought a cute little box from the consignment shop to put them in.

This is the envelope I picked.

I put the money in the envelope and the envelope in the box.

Hopefully I’ll be able to save the whole year.

I’ll let you know my progress each month.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the money. I’m just grateful that I have a job and am able to start my saving plan.

Yeah me!