The Chair

Someone wants to buy the chair I have for sale on Marketplace. She messaged me this morning to see if it was still available.

My heart sank. I told myself that if it didn’t sell I could keep it.

I messaged her back admitting it was still available

As many of you know, I’ve been purging off and on for the last year or more. On some days it’s been easy because in my heart I know that certain item needs to go. Other days I struggle to let go of something.

Today is one of those days.

I put this wooden chair on Marketplace a couple of weeks ago.

It’s really nothing special. It has a couple of dings. A couple of paint dribbles. It came with my desk that my husband bought me for my birthday. It wasn’t comfortable to sit on so I bought a regular office chair.

I don’t miss it.

It sits in the sunroom unused. My husband wonders why it’s still here if we aren’t using it. (Yes. He’s my getting rid of stuff partner!).

I haven’t shared with him the reason the chair is still in the house.

Why? Loop

It brings me anxiety thinking about getting rid of it. What if I need it? What if people come over and we need sn extra chair? I feel like I’m going to have this huge void in my life if it’s not here. In a room. That I maybe go in once or twice a month.

I thought about writing this post at least twenty times which is probably as many times as I thought about taking it off of Marketplace. I thought if I wrote about it I could figure out why I am so anxious to let it go.

The chair means nothing. I haven’t used it in over a year. Maybe once to look on top of the frig. Am I going to use it again? Maybe next time I look on top of the frig. Honestly no. I really dont think so.

Bottom line is I dont need this chair. It takes up space. It’s never used. I dont even remember it’s in the sunroom half of the time.

I have to let it go. Even if it causes me anxiety. If I need a chair in the future I can go to Goodwill and buy one or I can borrow one. There are other options. This isnt the end of the world. It’s not heirloom.

She’s coming over on Sunday to pick up the chair.

That’s if I don’t change my mind… before that….

Thank A Farmer

In my part of the world, my farmer neighbors are still harvesting corn and plowing fields.

This picture was taken a couple weeks ago, but the fields look the same today. It doesn’t look good but it can still be harvested. Weird.

It hasn’t been a very nice spring, summer or fall for any of the farmers. It was very rainy. The snow came early. It wasn’t good.

I was standing in the kitchen at 2 am two nights ago and saw headlights. This is not normal. There isn’t a road back there. When I looked closer I saw a tractor plowing the field in back of my house.

At two am. 15 degrees outside.

And he’s plowing.

I was in awe. Humbled. Grateful.

This farmer is plowing his field to get it ready for next year so that we have something to eat.

Thank you farmer.

Before I lived in farm country, I basically blew off farmers. I got mad when they drove slowly down a country road when I needed to get somewhere. I didn’t understand why they wore their farm clothes to fleet farm. I hated the smell of manure when I drove on the highway.

I appreciate them now because I realize how hard they work. Up at the crack of dawn. I can hear the farm machinery pull out of their driveway in the morning. And they work til sunset. When we were working outside this summer I knew it was going to get dark soon because the farm machinery was pulling in the driveway.

Now when I see farm machinery on the road I wave and smile. Only farm machinery can fit on a narrow country road. Instead of being irritated, I now I just pull into the closest driveway, let them go by and go on my merry way.

I used to hate the smell of manure when I was driving through the country. It was funny because I would roll up my window and plug my nose. My husband would smell it and say “Ahhhh home.”

The other day I walked out of my house and smelled manure and smiled. It is home. I am grateful. I finally understood what he meant.

Yes, I am chaging into a country girl. I now understand somewhat what the farming life is all about. At least a little bit.

I’m grateful for the farmers, for their hard work and dedication and for the food I eat.

Thank you farmers!!! ❤❤❤

What Impact Am I Having?

I have never been to a funeral where I felt so much love in the room as I did last week at my brother in law W’s funeral.

I.didnt know W well. To me, he was always very gruff and crabby. Hard to talk to. Hard to get to know.

W had cerebral palsy and his left arm was smaller than his right. He didnt have a traditional job. He scrapped metal, plowed snow and cut grass for a living.

Every morning and evening he would have coffee at local restaurants. He was an fixture at these restaurants

Over the course of three hours at the visitation at least 10 people told.me that he would be missed. I’ve never experienced this outpour of love before. I could feel the love people had for W in the room.

People loved him. During the three hour visitation at the funeral home there was only two times that there weren’t people lined up to offer the family their.condolences.

The love in that room was amazing. Heart felt. Humbling. I felt grateful to be there to share it.

But it also made me think.

Will there be that much love at my funeral?

What impact am i having on people in the city i live in and beyond?

Am I helping people?

What is my purpose in life? Am I achieving this purpose?

Its four am and I am up thinking about the impact I am having on other people’s lives. I hope I am and that’s its positive.

I am kinda sad that I didnt know W better. That I didnt try to get past those gruff layers to see who he really was.

I thimk I missed out on knowing a great man.

Rest in.peace W. Thanks for helping me realize how much kindness and love really do matter.

You touched a lot of peoples lives and made their world a happier place.

I hope I am doing the same.

115 Days

It’s snowing.

Again.

Usually on December 1st I start counting. 90 days of winter and snow and ice and cold. 90 days til its starts getting warmer. 90 days til March.

Since its snowing today, I’m changing my philosophy to 115 days.

Crap!

We are in a winter weather advisory until 3 pm this afternoon. The county plows just drove by as they salt the roads.

This sucks.

I saw Santa in Kohls on Sunday. I’m blaming him.

Santa shouldn’t be in the stores until after Thanksgiving and it shouldn’t snow until after Thanksgiving.

I think it’s going to be a long winter.

I did wash my winter jacket which I will be wearing today. We are burying my brother in law this morning. He died of a massive heart on Friday.

Wish me luck.

Happy New Month

This morning I was thinking negative thoughts. It’s cold. I’m up way too early. Two months til Christmas. I need to start buying presents. I have too many errands to do before work and I dont feel like it. I’m tired.

I read the words below on facebook a half hour ago and I love what it says.

Happy new month.

These words put a little spring in my step.

A new month. A new start. A new way of looking at things.

New possibilites.

What a great way to look at things.

What a great way to start the month.

What a great way to start the day.

Happy new month everyone!! ❤❤

Happy Halloween!

Running out of chocolate. Now that’s scary.

This is what my Dove chocolate wrapper said last night.

I couldn’t agree more.

I can guarantee you that no one in my city is going to run out of chocolate tonight.

I dont think there will be many kids trick or treating tonight.

This is what outside looks like right now.

The snow is supposed to stop at 3 pm. Trick or treat starts at 4 pm. The low for tonight is 22 degrees.

Poor kids. And parents.

This is the third time in the last 150 years that it snowed on Halloween. We are breaking a record today.

The only good thing is that there will be a ton of Halloween candy on clearance tomorrow. 😊

Have a great day everyone!

Happy Halloween.

Not Ready

This is what was waiting for me when I went outside yesterday morning.

I’m not ready for this.

Last night after work I had to scrape my windshield and turn on my heated seats.

It’s too early for this.

This is what I saw when I left work tonight

I don’t know if you can see the snow falling in either of these pictures but it is. 1 to 3 inches of snow is suppose.to fall overnigjt.

Not ready! Not ready for the cold. It’s 32 degrees. Not ready for the snow.

I know what I am doing this weekend. I’m getting washing both my winter coats and some mittens and getting my boots out!!!!