Category: writing

Another Gentle Push

I was in the Karma and Luck store (Love Love Love this store!!!) in Harrah’s hotel in Las Vegas last week.  It’s a very cool store that sells stones and stone jewelry.  I bought three stones — rose quartz, amethyst and camelian.  Rose quartz promotes universal love.  Amethyst promotes health and beauty.  Camelian promotes sensuality, manifestation and creativity.  I’ve been told to put these stones in my purse or pants pocket, under my pillow or on my desk.   It works.  When I put the abundance rock in my pocket I found a $50 at the mini mart, later on that week I found a $20 on the floor at work and I won $100 on a lottery ticket.

I felt totally at home in this store.  I love this stuff.  The power of stones, karma, dreams, past lives.  I have always been drawn to this kind of stuff ever since I was a little kid.   As I walked about of the store and down the hall a little voice in my head said to me “You’re not doing what you’re suppose to be doing.  You’re not fulfilling your purpose.” This wasn’t the first time I’ve heard this voice.  In the past I have either ignored the voice or pushed it down.  Deep in my heart I know I’m not doing what I’m suppose to be doing, but bills need to be paid and things need to get done.  I know that my calling and where I am at in my life are on totally different ends of the spectrum, but I’m scared to bring them closer together.

As I continued walking I decided that I’m going to listen to that voice.  I’m going to own who I am today and I’m going to do something every day to get closer to my calling every day.  I know…..easier said than done.

How did my life get so out of whack?  I think it’s because I don’t listen to myself.  I don’t know that part of myself.  I don’t take the time to get to know that part of myself.  I don’t make time for that part of myself.  The one thing I do know is that I have to get to know that part of myself.

This trip to Vegas has been very eye opening for me.  It’s been different.  My husband brought one of his coworkers along.  It was his first time to Vegas.  While the guys bonded (no alcohol involved) I was able to spend time with myself.  I loved that.

When we flew out early Tuesday morning I wrote for an hour on the plane while they watched tv.  After we landed I shared with James some of my favorite things about Vegas — the botanical gardens and the water show at the Bellagio hotel,  playing the Hangover slot machine, shopping at The Dragon’s Lair at the Excalibur hotel, watching the gondolas at the Venetian Hotel and gambling at Treasure Island hotel.  This got me thinking…..I do my favorite things in Vegas, but I can’t remember the last time I did one of my favorite things at home.  Wait.  I did get a pedicure before my trip.  I get so caught up in the day to day stuff that I forget about my favorite things or what they even are.  How is possible that I can’t even tell you what five of my favorite things are right now?  That’s sad.

On Thursday morning around 9 a.m. we went to the Barrett Jackson car auction.  (another one of my favorite things I love to watch on tv) at Mandalin Bay Hotel.  After walking around for three hours, I left the guys and went off on my own.  I did some shopping, talked to my mom, wrote for an hour and then met up with the guys for supper.

On Friday morning we went to the memorial site of the victims of the shooting.  I was ok until I stood in front of the 1st cross and I looked down the row of fifty eight crosses.  I cried.  All of these people lost their lives around the same time.  It was the first time I had been to something like this.  I was amazed at the notes from family and friends, the poems, balloons, candles and all of the other trinkets people left.  It was moving.  I could feel how much the 58 people were loved.  Seeing something like this definitely puts things in perspective.

It made me realize that I need to think about how I’m going to put more of the me I keep hidden inside of me and my favorite things into my life.  I need to share this part of myself with others and put it into my writing.  I need to start to getting comfortable with that part of myself.  I’m not sure how I’m going to do that yet, but I’m going to try.

I definitely learned a lot about myself during my vacation.  I’m grateful my husband had James along so I could spend some time by myself and let things come to the surface.

It was a another gentle push to become more of the me I’m suppose to be.

Thank you, God.

A Try At Poetry

We lay in bed side by side

My back is snuggled against your belly

Your arm is wrapped around my front

Our fingers entwined

I feel loved and protected

I close my eyes and sigh

My favorite way to fall asleep

 

I don’t know why, but I woke up at 3 am this morning with this poem (is it even a poem?) in my head.  I normally don’t write poetry nor do I read it so I don’t even know what to classify the above as.

What I have been trying to do is get my writing out of my head and on paper.  I have a lot of ideas swimming inside of my head that I need to get out, but I’m not sure some of the ideas are even worth writing down.  Sometimes what I feel is awesome in my head doesn’t necessarily come out as awesome on paper.

I feel I have too many essays, blog posts and other writing adventures started, but nothing is finished.  I am close to finishing some, but not others.  I am currently working on the projects that are close to being done, but the other projects that I’m not working on demand attention in my head as well.

In the past I have started writing and then quit because I was overwhelmed with too many ideas in my head.  I would start and quit.  Start and quit.  I didn’t know how to deal with current writing projects and new ideas that come into my head.

This is what I am trying to deal with right now — not to become overwhelmed.  To give myself time to work on projects and time to write notes for upcoming projects.  Basically to give all of the voices in my head a voice.

I think it’s pretty cool to wake up at 3 a.m. with the possibility of a poem in my head.  It shows me I’m expanding and I’m excited about that.

I’m happy with possible poem.  What are your thoughts on my possible poem?  Is it good?  Does it suck?  Is it even a poem?  I would like to hear all of your thoughts — positive or negative.

Thanks for reading.  I appreciate all of you.

 

I Think I Might Try NaNoWriMo

Did you know that November is National Novel Month?  I didn’t.  I never heard of it before.

NaNoWriMo is a writing project that challenges you to commit to writing 50,000 words in the month of November while writing the first draft of a novel.  At the end of 30 days you’re not suppose to have a ready manuscript to submit to a publisher.  You are only suppose to finish your first draft.

This sounds very interesting and has me thinking….

I have a novel that is swimming around in my head.  I have written small parts of chapters and figured out some characters, but nothing more.  My notes are all in a folder on my couch.   I keep writing bits and pieces and  putting them in the folder.  I was going to look at the folder this weekend because I would like to organize my notes and see where I am and where I would like to go.

Doing NaNoWriMo would be a huge challenge —  an emotional and time challenge.  This would take huge amounts of time.  I think I would basically have to give up the month of November, but what’s the big deal.   It’s snowing and cold so there’s nothing to do outside.  The camper will be closed so my weekends are free.  Who cares if the house is clean or if supper is made 🙂

I would like to do this to see if I can finish a novel in 30 days or to see how far I get.  It would be interesting to see how many words I can write in a month, what roadblocks come up and how I would deal with them, and how I would push myself to write.

I would have to write 1,667 words a day.  The number is a little daunting.  I post 500 to 800 words twice a week.  The daily goal would be like writing two or three blog posts a day.  I think that would be doable, but tough.  Maybe once I got into the groove of writing that much a day it wouldn’t be bad.  Or maybe it would still be bad.  I don’t know.

All I know is that I would like to try it.  I think it’s time to expand my life a little.

I think I’m going to go check out their blog (blog.nanowrimo.org) to see if I can learn more about what I want to get myself into.

I know I need to keep my expectations low.  I realize at that end of November I’m not going to have a novel ready to send to a publisher.  Nor am I going to be signing a million dollar contract.  But what I might have is a wonderful first draft of a novel that I can edit in 2018 or I might have a crappy first draft of a novel that I toss because it sucks that bad.

You never know until you try.

I’ll keep you posted on whether I decide to do it or not.

Have you or anyone you know tried NaNoWriMo?  I’m very interested in hearing what other people’s opinions are.

 

 

Grabbing Bits Of Time

I always thought that I needed hours to write something worthwhile.  A block of four to eight hours of uninterrupted time that I could sit at my desk and just write.   I could work on my essays, or blog posts or my novel and get a lot accomplished and feel good about it.

Since I started seriously writing my blog I’ve been shooting for writing an hour a day.  I usually try to write in the morning when I get up, but for the last couple of weeks I haven’t been successful.  Life has been getting in the way and I have lost touch of my goal.  I haven’t been writing as much as I would like and was bummed out about it.  I was wondering what I could do differently.  I read in someone’s blog (I apologize to whoever’s blog I read — please let me know and I will give you the credit you deserve) and I don’t remember that whole story (again I am sorry) where this guy wrote for a certain amount of time in his car after work every day.  No matter what.  Guess what?  He wrote a novel.

Why can’t this work for me, too?  Not the writing after work part, but the grabbing time part.  So the last couple of weeks I’ve been grabbing bits of time to write.  Seven minutes while I’m waiting in the drive thru at Walgreen’s to pick up my husband’s prescriptions.  Fifteen minutes while I’m waiting for the doctor’s nurse to call my name.

My favorite bit of time to steal is my last ten minute break at 8 p.m. at work.  I use this break to write about whatever is swimming around in my head.  I take notes while I’m working so I don’t forgot (easily done at my age) what I want to write about at my last break.  For some reason work is the place where I have the most ideas swimming around in my head and the least time to deal with them.  I think it’s probably because I shouldn’t be writing at work…..I should be working.

I grab time in other ways.  Two weeks ago while I was driving to the campground a ton of ideas came to me so I took twenty minutes before I went inside the store to shop and wrote notes for the essay I was working on and wrote part of a blog post and wrote a sentence or two on a couple of pages.  I keep a notebook in my truck just for these occasions.  Last Friday I spent twenty minutes in the parking lot after my acupuncture appointment writing two scenes for my novel that I thought of while I was laying down.  Usually I take a nap, but not last Friday.  I even thought ringing the buzzer so I could cut my appointment short so I could write.  I didn’t, but I thought about it.

When I first started grabbing bits of time I didn’t think it would matter.   I didn’t think that ten minutes or a half hour would be productive, but how wrong I was.   I write a lot more than I thought I would.  I even started a notebook to keep track of things I am working on.

I would like to think I am more organized although I’m still working on this.  When I write partial blog posts I put my notes in a folder and when I’m ready to write the full post I grab my notes and I’m good to go.  When I write notes for an essay I usually try to revise my essay that same day so I don’t lost my thought process.  When I’m done I have a revised essay and feel good about it.

I feel I’m writing more and getting more accomplished.  I feel I’m writing better because (even if it’s only ten or fifteen minutes) I’m giving myself time to do what I love.  I feel I’m more in tune with myself and my writing.  Ideas flow more freely because they now have an outlet.

I’ve learned that I don’t need a block of time to make my writing dreams happen.  That’s just not realistic in my life.

And besides…..a lot can happen in fifteen minutes.