Author: chrissy

I dont know what happened yesterday but my post published when I answered my cell phone. I’m typing this post on my phone so hopefully it wont happen again.

I put my bears on the table so I could see what I had. I wanted to feel the emotions that came to the surface, remember the memories, and remember why I bought them in the first place.

I started my collection while shopping with my best friend, Mel, over twenty years ago. I fell in love with them the first time I saw them. I would buy a bear every now and then when we shopped. I loved them. I pictured these bears all over my house. When I had a house

After I had the bears out for a couple of days I realized that I didn’t love half of them. I love the christms bears, but not so much the winter ones. I’ll probably keep the little ornments. Not sure about the other ones.

The reasons why the bears mean so much to me is because of the memories with Mel. Mel passed away over 10 years ago. Cancer. It started with breast, then lung and then brain. She fought hard but couldn’t beat it. She fought for 7 years. What a trooper. Even though she was 15 years older than me she was my best friend. We worked together and played together. She was my 2nd mom. Every bear reminds me of her and our time spent together.

She would be first one to tell me not to keep things she bought me or I bought for myself if I don’t like or need them any longer.

I know, Mel. I know.

I didn’t realize bringing out the bears and writing this post would bring up so much emotion. As I write this tears run down my face. I miss her so much. She was my best friend. My mentor on how to let go and have fun. She was my co worker. She was a wonderful person and I am definately a better person for knowing her.

Am I keeping the bears because of her memories? Yes. Not good. I have pics and hand written notes from her. I really dont need all the bears. The notes are more important to me and a lot easier to store.

Some of the bears must go.

What I have come to know is that if I need to remember something the universe will help me. Maybe its hearing an old song or a phrase someone says or talking with someone that will remind me of an old memory or what I need to remember.

Keeping the bears is selfish and stagnant. It keeps me from growing and changing. It keeps me from letting go and moving forward.

I think another reason why I hang onto them is because of the money I stuck into buying them. I spent about two or three hundred dollars on the Christmas bears. Can I recoup that money? Probably not.

I know. That’s not the issue.

It’s going to take while to figure out what do with them. I want them to go to a good home. I want someone to love them as much as I did. This will take time.

Until then I will keep them in my curio cabinet and remember the good times and how lucky I was to a best friend like Mel.

I dont even know where to start on this part of my purge.

Knowing I have to let go some of my collection tugs at my heart strings for many reasons.

Here’s my collection.

To be honest I haven’t displayed these at Christmas in over 5 years. I’m not a big Christmas person. I don’t decorate a lot. My step kids are older. My husband isn’t home alot and I’m working 10 hours a day. Not enough time.

Until now. We have our own home with a big, long mantle over the fireplace. I want to decorate. I want my home to look nice. Pretty. Christmasy. Homey. A place where friends and family want to gather.

I started going through my Christmas stuff last week and that is what lead me to my bears.

My bears.

Sigh.

I put them on the table so I could look at them when I walked by. To let

I’ve been thinking alot about my 150 item purge and what counts and what doesn’t.

Are you wondering what does count?

I think it would be easier if I told you what doesn’t count. What doesn’t count is as follows:

Food. It doesnt matter if it is in the frig, freezer or pantry. It doesnt count.

Magazines. If I moved them from the old house they count. If not, they dont. I have cancelled five subscriptions. I don’t read them anway.

Magazines articles/scraps of paper I moved because I wanted to read them some day. I should have tossed them before I moved. I dont remember why I kept over half of them. Dumb.

My husband’s stuff. Clothes, shoes, or other stuff. His stuff is his stuff. Not mine. Doesn’t count.

Outside stuff. I’m taking some of my flower pots to the consignment shop but I’m not counting them because only inside stuff counts.

Christmas stuff. Cards. Boxes. Tins. Wrapping paper. String. To/from tags.

Cleaning supplies/health and body stuff. Some things were given to me so I’m passing them on.

I think that’s it.

Oh. One more thing.

One pair is 1. Even though there are two shoes or two mittens I’m still counting it as one.

I did well this weekend. I sold one item. Gave the rest of the Halloween stuff — six items — to my sister in law. I’ve put five items on marketplace and have five items ready to take to the consignment shop.

My husband even went through a bin of his stuff. I think he’s joining my cause. Yeah.

Life is good. And lighter.

I bought this mug the other day at Pier 1. I love it! It makes me smile. It cost $2.37 on clearance. I love that even more!

What I realized this week as I was going thru my stuff is that i have stuff, but I dont have a lot of stuff I love and makes me smile.

Sad isn’t it?

It is.

I have bought stuff to buy stuff. To have stuff. Mindlessly. Without thinking about it. I just needed stuff.

I was taught to buy practical stuff. Fair priced stuff. Stuff that would last.

I wasn’t taught to listen to my soul and buy what I loved. What spoke to me. What my heart wanted.

I bought what other people expected me to buy. Told me I should buy. Wanted me to buy.

From now on I’m going to buy only stuff I love. Stuff that makes me smile and makes my heart happy.

I can’t wait to wash my mug and use it. I dont drink coffee so i was thinking about using it as a pen holder on my desk in my office.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!! Peace and love to you my friends.

I’ve decided to take 6 to 8 weeks to reach my goal of letting go of 150 items.

I realize that this isn’t something that is done overnight or in a couple weeks. I need to give myself time to slowly sort thru my stuff instead rushing thru it.

I need time to write in my journal. To feel the feelings associated with each item. To remember the memories. To hold it in my hands.

I need time to think about what I have and why. Why do I have item? What purpose did I think it was goimg to fulfill? Is it time to let it go?

I need to think about what I want going forward. What direction am I going? What direction do I want to go in? What do I need? What do I want?

I am only keeping things I love.

The owner of the consignment shop looked at me funny when I took I dropped off 10 more items yesterday. She commented on how cute the items were. I agree. They are cute, but I dont love them. Therefore, I cant keep them.

I’m hoping you dont get too sick of hearing about my journey into unhoarding. I doubt if that’s a word, but that is my journey.

What I am hoping to get out of this journey is clarity, a sense of direction because I’m not held down by the 150 items and the courage to move forward onto the next chapter of my life.

Next is my Bearfoot Bear Christmas collectables. This is going to tug at my heart.

Take a deep breathe.

As you breathe out visualize your breathe coming out of your shoulders.

Feel yourself letting go of anger, hate, self loathing, sadness, jealously, and other negative emotions that you may carry with you.

Let go of the past. Let go of the you you were suppose to be. Let go of expectations. Let go of old rules. Let go of the things that keep you from moving forward.

Let go of anything you need to let go of. You know what you need to let go of. Your body knows. Let go.

Let it go on it’s own way. You don’t need it anymore. You dont need to carry it around with you forever. No one told you you had to keep it.

Let it go. Let it float gently up to the sky knowing it’s ok to let it go. You can watch it if you want. It’s ok.

Now move your attention to breathing in. Breathe in love. Hope. Sunshine. Happiness. New beginnings. Smiles. Courage. Strength.

Let go and make room for fun. New adventures. Something you’ve been longing to do but didn’t give yourself yourself permission to do before. It’s ok to give yourself permission now. It’s ok to go after your dreams. It’s ok because you know you deserve it. Yes you really do.

If you want new in your life you need to let go of the stuff that doesnt work anymore. Fit you anymore. That isn’t what or who you are anymore. Let it go.

It’s ok for you to move forward with whatever you want to move forward with. It’s ok to walk away from the past. You know where you want to go. It’s ok to go there. Now. With whoever you want to go there with. If you don’t want to take anyone you dont have to. Go there alone if you must. But go.

It’s ok to be you. To be who you really are. You’re suppose to be that person. Trust that and let go. You know the way. It’s ok.

Keep breathing.

Keep letting go.

You’ll find your way.

Two days ago I brought the two Halloween bins I had in the basement upstairs and emptied them onto the living room floor.

I know it’s a hodge podge of stuff. Let me explain. Ten years ago my brother, my sister in law and her family and my husband and I used to camp at our local state park Halloween weekend. I had 10 bins of decorations that we used to decorate our campsite and my brothers. We did this for five years and had a blast.

A couple of years ago I went thru my bins and brought it down to two bins. I kept my favorite things. I sold the rest at a garage sale we had.

Now it’s time to downsize again.

There’s a couple of things I’m going to get rid of. The two strobe lights. The skeleton table cloth. The best witches sign and the witch parking sign. The two plug in pumpkins. I can’t see myself using them next year. My husband is gone and I’m usually at work during trick or treat. These items are cheap enough that I can buy them if I decide I need them in the future.

I dont see myself ever using the two light up ghosts that can hang from wherever and are motion sensored and scare people when they walk by. These are going to the consignment shop. The same with battery operated hand with the moving fingers. The orange lights. The two motion sensored skeleton heads. One sings that song — I always feel like someone is watching me. Cute but annoying as hell. The small wooden skeleton. The flashlight that lights up 5 different ways and makes 5 different Halloween noises.

My two favorite items are pictured below.

The witch spirit ball we used at the campground all the time. Everyone loved it and wanted to buy it. It’s so cool. She talks and her head moves. I really hate to get rid of her.

The witch I love the most. Shes so ugly shes cute. When she talks her eyes are red and flash off and on. Its motion activated and scares the crap out of people. I used to hang her up at work. Pissed off some of my coworkers. I’m keeping her.

There were 22 items in the bins and I’m keeping two. My talking witch and the cookie plate.

I’m kinda sad so that I’m getting rid of my Halloween stuff. There are so many good memories attached to them. It’s hard to let them go but I have to. I’m not keeping what I’m not using. I’ve moved on. I dont have small kids. I don’t have any grandchildren. It doesnt make sense to keep something I’m not using when other people could be using it. I want other people to make good memories with them. Hopefully they will use them more than I did

I did buy two things this year to decorate my table with. A orange table runner and a small pumpkin. Next year I want things that suit me and who I am now. Something more adult and pretty. Something that makes me smile and feel good when I look at it.

This is my Halloween collection right now. Out of 22 things I kept 2. Now I have four things I love.

I feel lighter. Emotionally drained but lighter. It has been a hard two days trying to figure out what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of and why, but this stuff is my past and i want to move onto my future.

I’ll drop some of the items off at the consignment store on my way to work today. I’ll take a picture of the rest of the stuff and see if my sister in law wants it for her annual Halloween party. If not it’s going in the garage sale bin.

The next bunch of stuff I’m going through is my Christmas stuff.

Wish me luck!😊

I had to work yesterday. Mandatory. 11 am to 4 pm.

I’d rather not work on Saturday. I’d rather be at home with my husband puttering around the house and yard but since its mandatory I had to be there..

On any given day my job consists of sorting and passing out orders, helping whoever needs help that day, putting wire away, dealing with backorders and whatever else comes up. Walking, walking and more walking.

What I love about working on Saturday is is that I dont get to do my regular job. I don’t have to talk to anyone. Help anyone. Pass out orders. Put anything away except the parts that I used. I dont have to walk.

I don’t have to deal with the day to day crap.

These five hours are bliss. I work by myself in silence. There is no one around me. I absolutely love it.

The extra money isn’t bad either.

I’m trying to look at the positive in every situation instead of focusing on the negative.

It’s not easy sometimes but I’m trying.

I’m soooooooo not ready for this….

I took the last box of stuff out of my office and emptied it onto the living room floor. This is all of the stuff I didn’t know what to do with after we moved in so I just put it in a box.

Contents of the box: Manilla envelopes, a couple of books, magazine articles I ripped out of magazines but never read them, receipts I was too lazy to put away, a couple of magazines and a bunch of other stuff. Junk.

This is what I’ll be doing tomorrow morning before work. Fun. Fun. I have to do it. I’ve put it off for too long already.

I’ve made some rules. I can count the magazines and books if I choose to get rid of them but the pieces of paper and other crap on going to toss I can’t count toward my 150 items I want to get rid of. I’m going to get rid of.

I’ve been wondering what my space will feel like when the 150 items are gone and what changes are going to happen in other parts of my life.

On the way home tonight I bought two $3 and a $2 lottery tickets. I won $2 on the $2 ticket, $3 on the $3 ticket and $100 on the other $3 ticket. Holy crap!

Is this a sign of things to come? Or is the universe paying me to put away/throw away my crap?

Either way I’ll take it.

Maybe I’ll start going through my stuff right now since I’m too fired up to sleep.

Sweet dreams everyone. 😊❤