Author: chrissy

For the last month or so I’ve been trying to weed through my books.

It hasn’t been easy.

I truly love books. I love to read. I love to have a book in my hands. I thank my mom for this. She read to me every night before bed. I never knew this until a month ago when we were talking about all my books.

After reading through an old journal this past week I think I have all of these books because I thought somewhere in the back of my mind that I was going to have this huge house with a huge library. You know, a library with floor to ceiling book shelves with a ladder the slides from one side to the other. I wanted to be like Danielle Steel and write for the masses, have a huge house with my office overlooking Lake Michigan.

I haven’t thought about these dreams in a long time. Its weird that i remember the dream when I’m letting go of stuff, but it makes sense.

It’s time to let that dream go. I’m very happy with the house and the office that we have. I’m giving myself permission to let go of the books I don’t love. Since I don’t have the floor to ceiling library, I dont need to keep the extra books.

This is the bookcase I’m using. It was my grandmas. I dont think she had books in it. I think her collection of elephants filled the shelves.

I do have one more 30 gallon tote full of books. I was trying to keep only the books that fit in the bookcase, but I can’t do it. I’m allowing myself a little over flow.

It feels good to let go of the books I know I will never read. I’m donating some of them to the library. I’m taking 14 books today and then I’ll go through them again in a week or two and do the same thing. I’m glad I can donate my books to a place where people can enjoy them.

It’s hard to let go of dreams and stuff but if I want to move forward in life I have to. If I don’t there is no room for the self that’s been waiting to come out to come out.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

It’s gloomy today. The perfect day to lay around and watch Super Bowl stuff all day on tv.

Here’s what I am grateful today:

1. Its 37!!!!!!!

2. The snow is melting and I can see grass in some areas.

3. I don’t have to wear mittens or two pairs of socks and that I dont have to warm up my vehicle for fifteen minutes.

4. Its Superbowl Sunday. I dont really like either team but I’m voting for the Rams. I’m a die hard Steeler fan. Always have been. Always will be. Yes, I live in Wisconsin, but I bleed black and yellow.

5. Superbowl football pools at work. I’m in 4. Yes, I am a gambler. It’s fun and it makes work not seem like work for a couple of minutes or however long you can drag it out for.

6. For my truck starting every day this week.

7. For my brother in law and his friend who plow and shovel so I don’t have to.

8. For getting two days off of work this week.

9 For being 18 items away from the 150 goal I set.

10. Its 37 degrees!!!! After being in -20 without the windchill this is heaven.

Have a great day!!!

Go Rams!!

When I decided to let go of 150 items I didn’t know what would happen. All I knew is that I had to let those items go.

Yesterday I took a day of vacation because it was -25 (without the windchill which was -45). I told myself if I took the day off I would have to work. I brought some things up from the basement and purged. I read through a couple of my journals and shredded them. I put a couple items on ebay and marketplace. I’m even donating some of my books and pencils to the library. This is not normal for me.

A question popped into my head this morning when I was looking at my pile of books I have yet to deal with. The question is: Where am I going?

I dont know.

My life feels more open now that I let go of 118 items. It’s so nice to open a closet or drawer and not feel overwhelmed because its overfilled. I feel free. I feel open. I feel unblocked.

I still have a ways to go. I would say I’m half away done. I have to admit it’s easier to let go of stuff now. I have a vision of how I want our house to look so I know what I want to keep and what needs to go.

I know I’m going to keep moving forward, but I dont know where I am going.

Do I have to know today? No. I just have to keep an open mind and be open to the wonderful experiences coming my way because I really think great things are coming my way.

Until then, I’m going to continue to let go of stuff and see what happens. Who knows……maybe I’ll win the lottery and be on an episode of My Lottery Dream Home.

Here’s the view from my windows yesterday.

I didn’t go to work yesterday. My husband called me early yesterday morning and told me to call in. I didn’t argue.

I spent the morning going thru my books. I have way too many so I’m going to try to sell the ones I don’t want on marketplace.

My husband and I made breakfast and I did the dishes. After that I napped off and on til 7 pm.

I had a nice relaxing day.

Today I have to brave the below zero temps for the next couple of days. -25. That sucks. I’ll be bringing extra clothes for the ride home tonight. I think I’m taking a half day of vacation tomorrow just so I dont have to drive home at 10:30 PM. I don’t care about tonight. Its above zero and the sun is out but tomorrow with the windchill it’s suppose to be -70.

31 more days. I don’t know if I can make it!

Good morning from Wisconsin! What a different picture than last week in Vegas!

I took a half day of vacation last night. I wanted to get home safe and sound before the snow started. I had a nice night. I watched NCIS. New Orleans. It’s one of my favorite shows. I wrote for an hour. I read thru 6 journals (from 1985 and 1993) and shreaded them. I cleaned off and organized my desk. I did stuff I’ve been putting off. It was a nice, quiet evening.

I’m going to leave for work a half hour early today to make sure I get there on time. Dont worry. I have an SUV with all wheel drive. I’ll take it slow. The extra drive time is worth it. I wouldn’t move back to the city I moved from.

I love my country living! It’s going to be a pretty drive in.

This is what I woke up to this morning.

Can you see the snowplow? This is our first major snowstorm of the season.

Even on a morning like this I am grateful. Here is my list.

1. Not having anything I have get up and drive to.

2. My comfy blankets and pillows.

3. My teddy bear (it’s really a dog) that I sleep with when my husband isn’t home.

4. The pile of books next to my bed.

5. My upstairs bathroom. Too lazy to walk downstairs to pee.

6. The Barrett Jackson car auction. I love watching this. It’s one of my favorite things. I stayed up til three a.m. watching and listening as I was sorting thru my pens and writing down writing goals for 2019. B J does so many wonderful things during their auctions. Last night a SUV was auctioned off for charity. It raised $200,000. The guy who bought it was so impressed with the charity and what it does he donated the SUV back to the charity so it could be auctioned off again. The second time it raised $100,000. $300,000 was raised for that charity. This makes my heart smile and makes me proud to live in America.

7. That its Saturday and I don’t have to work today.

8. My brother in law that will plow our driveway.

9. For all of the angels looking over my husband and making sure he stays safe while driving in this crap.

10. My phone. I love the fact that I can write and post this post while laying in bed!

I suppose I’ll get up, throw in a load of laundry and call my husband and see where he is at. He should be home today, but with this weather you never know.

Have a great day everyone!!!

Above is a picture of how many pens and pencils I have in my house. I’m embarrassed to tell you this but there are 370 total…not counting the unopened packages. 105 pencils and 265 pens.

I know this classifies me as a hoarder. I am ok with this. It is what it is and I have to deal with it.

It’s out in the open.

Sad isn’t it? I haven’t opened the green box in over a year yet I still held onto all of them. I should have dealt with the box after we moved, but I didn’t. I just shoved it under my bookcase and forgot about it. Out of sight. Out of mind.

I took the pictures two days ago. I thought it would help me to remember why I bought them. It really didn’t.

I know I would buy myself new pens if I wrote a certain amount of words. Kinda of like a bribe. I suppose. Whatever works.

I don’t like to use the same pens every day and I don’t use the same color ink. I know. Weird. Maybe this is because I don’t let myself go wild with color in other areas of my life except shoes. So maybe all of the pens is one way I express myself.

Who knows.

I honestly don’t know why I have all of them or why I’m telling all of you. I guess I want to be accountable and share my journey of getting rid of 150 items with you and this is part if that journey.

I went thru the pencils earlier and I’m keeping 55 and letting go of 50. I’m donating 50 to the library in town. They are always sort on pencils.

The pens are a different story. They are probably going to take awhile to go thru. There are many different colors and styles. I’m not sure what I am going to do with them. Maybe sell them on ebay.

I can’t sell them on marketplace. I have never shared my pen and pencil hoarding with anyone. You are the only people I have shown. No one in my family knows about or has seen my addiction or reads or knows about my blog.

I don’t know many I am going to keep. It’s just too many too deal with right now. Who in their right mind has 265 pens laying around their house?

I do.

I’m not counting each pen and pencil as part of the 150. I may use 5 of them toward the 150. I’m not sure. I may not count any if them.

Thanks for reading and sharing my journey with me.

Good morning from Las Vegas, my home away from home.

Last night we went to see Penn nd Teller. It was an awesome show.

Today, we are going to see the botanical gardens at the Bellagio Hotel. It is so pretty. There so many beautiful flowers. The theme is Chinese New Year. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I can’t wait!!

I hope you are doing something you love today.

I am a pen and pencil whore. I admit it. I have way too many.

Since dealing with my pens and pencils is the next on the purge list, I have to deal with my overabundance.

I’m going to start with my the pens and pencils in my filing cabinet at work. (In a future post I will deal with all of the pens and pencils in my house)

Honestly, I dont know why I have all of these pens and pencils. It kind of is ridiculous. There are 46 all together. 6 pencils and 40 pens.

The pencils shown are my favorite. Ticonderoga pencils. Black. Neon. Metallic. I don’t care what color or style. I love them all!!! I love the way they feel in my hand. I love the way they look. I love the way they write.

I dont love all of the pens. I love the pens I asked for/stole from the casinos in Vegas. I love the Bic Crystal pens and the regular blue Bic pens. I love the blue Promarx pens. The one black Pentel R.S.V.P and my pink Tul pen. I love the different colors and how smooth they write. The rest I don’t love. They are pens that are given out by the bank. Pens I bought at office max but didn’t like. Pens I bought at the dollar store because I liked the neon green and pink ones.

I love 23 out of 40 pens and all 6 pencils.

I think the reason I have so many is because I love different colored pens and the different colors of ink. I don’t like using the same pens every day. I use different pens and different ink colors every day.

If I’m only keeping what I love, then I have to get rid of the 17 pens. If so, then why does it feel like I’m cutting off my right arm?

When I gathered my pens and pencils to take home it felt like I was quitting my job and cleaning out my desk. I think its because my pens are the most important things in my filing cabinet. I’m not sure how i feel about this.

I love my pens and pencils. I think they help me express who I am.

I’m still trying to figure out why I have so many. I can’t think of anything from my childhood that would cause me to hoard pens.

Maybe it has something to do with my writing. I’ll have to think about this a little and let you know in a future post.

A mini purge completed. Yeah me!

No, I’m not counting the 17 pens in the total 150 items I am purging. That’s too easy.

My coworker, K, is mad at me because I moved to a different lunch table on Friday.  I moved because I don’t like the guy she invited to sit at our lunch table.  I told her earlier that afternoon that I was moving and why and she said she was ok with it, but that changed after it happened.

I don’t like this male coworker for many reasons.  I’m going to call him A.  A is rude.  He has temper tantrums and throws stuff.  He ignores people when they try to talk to him.  He never smiles.  He isn’t happy.  He and I just don’t get along and I’m ok with that.

The thing you have to understand about K is that she loves people like this.  We call her “the leader of the misfit toys”.  She attracts people no one else likes because she loves to help people.  That’s a wonderful trait to have, but when no one else likes the people you attract and doesn’t want to be around them don’t you see it as a red flag and ask yourself why.  Not K.  She loves to be needed.

Not me.  I don’t want or need that kind of person in my life.  I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to work with him.  In my 22 years at my job I’ve never had to interact with him and I would like to keep it that way.

K thinks I’m being rude and defends him and his behavior.  Her excuses are highlighted.  My responses aren’t.

“He’s just lonely.”  I don’t care.  Doesn’t he get that he’s lonely because he treats people like crap?

“He had a bad childhood.”  He’s 62 years old.  He’s had plenty of time to grow and change.  He’s not changed at all.  He’s still the same asshole as when I started working there.  We get five free counseling sessions a year.  Maybe he should try using them to become a better person.

“Maybe you should try to get along with him”  What?  Why? That’s never going to happen.  That would be a total waste of my time.

“He’s only at our table ten or fifteen minutes”  I don’t care.  In my eyes that is ten or fifteen minutes too long.

I only have a half hour for lunch.  Why would I spend it with someone I don’t like?  My half hour is my time.  I’m off of the clock.  I’m too old to put up with other people’s crap.

Why should I sit with him if he brings nothing to the table.?  I know this is a really harsh way of looking at things, but this is where I am at in life right now.  He doesn’t make me smile.  He doesn’t make me laugh.  I don’t feel I can have an intelligent conversation with him.  He doesn’t make me a better person.  He doesn’t make me feel better.  He’s not a joy to be around.  I don’t enjoy spending time with him.

This is the conclusion I came up with.  Maybe I’m being mean.  Maybe I’m being a bitch.  What’s ten minutes a day?  What it boils down to is I don’t want to be around or have people in my life that don’t bring me joy.  Even if it is for ten minutes a day.  I know in a ten hour day fifteen minutes is a little chunk of time

But is it?  That attitude.  That negativity seeps into your psyche.  It seeps into your soul.  It makes you negative without you even know your negative and why.  I try to protect myself from people like that.

It’s my time.  It’s my lunch hour.  It’s my choice.

And I choose not to sit with him.