My coworker, K, is mad at me because I moved to a different lunch table on Friday. I moved because I don’t like the guy she invited to sit at our lunch table. I told her earlier that afternoon that I was moving and why and she said she was ok with it, but that changed after it happened.
I don’t like this male coworker for many reasons. I’m going to call him A. A is rude. He has temper tantrums and throws stuff. He ignores people when they try to talk to him. He never smiles. He isn’t happy. He and I just don’t get along and I’m ok with that.
The thing you have to understand about K is that she loves people like this. We call her “the leader of the misfit toys”. She attracts people no one else likes because she loves to help people. That’s a wonderful trait to have, but when no one else likes the people you attract and doesn’t want to be around them don’t you see it as a red flag and ask yourself why. Not K. She loves to be needed.
Not me. I don’t want or need that kind of person in my life. I’ve been fortunate enough not to have to work with him. In my 22 years at my job I’ve never had to interact with him and I would like to keep it that way.
K thinks I’m being rude and defends him and his behavior. Her excuses are highlighted. My responses aren’t.
“He’s just lonely.” I don’t care. Doesn’t he get that he’s lonely because he treats people like crap?
“He had a bad childhood.” He’s 62 years old. He’s had plenty of time to grow and change. He’s not changed at all. He’s still the same asshole as when I started working there. We get five free counseling sessions a year. Maybe he should try using them to become a better person.
“Maybe you should try to get along with him” What? Why? That’s never going to happen. That would be a total waste of my time.
“He’s only at our table ten or fifteen minutes” I don’t care. In my eyes that is ten or fifteen minutes too long.
I only have a half hour for lunch. Why would I spend it with someone I don’t like? My half hour is my time. I’m off of the clock. I’m too old to put up with other people’s crap.
Why should I sit with him if he brings nothing to the table.? I know this is a really harsh way of looking at things, but this is where I am at in life right now. He doesn’t make me smile. He doesn’t make me laugh. I don’t feel I can have an intelligent conversation with him. He doesn’t make me a better person. He doesn’t make me feel better. He’s not a joy to be around. I don’t enjoy spending time with him.
This is the conclusion I came up with. Maybe I’m being mean. Maybe I’m being a bitch. What’s ten minutes a day? What it boils down to is I don’t want to be around or have people in my life that don’t bring me joy. Even if it is for ten minutes a day. I know in a ten hour day fifteen minutes is a little chunk of time
But is it? That attitude. That negativity seeps into your psyche. It seeps into your soul. It makes you negative without you even know your negative and why. I try to protect myself from people like that.
It’s my time. It’s my lunch hour. It’s my choice.
And I choose not to sit with him.