Over the last couple of months I have thought a lot about what I want to achieve in 2022.
I have two goals for 2002.
My writing is my first goal. I want to dig deep down and figure out what I really want to do with my writing. I stop and I start. I stop and I start. I want to figure out why. I thought if I started from the beginning and journal about and or blog about when I first decided I wanted to write and why and go on from there I could get to know my writing self a little better and deal with the crap that is holding me back.
Is writing truly my dream and if it’s not what is? That is the question I want to answer.
Getting to know my body and what she wants and needs is my second goal. I thought I knew my body, but getting Diabetes told me I do not. It was a big eye opener for me. I didn’t expect it to happen, but it did and now I have to deal with it. I’ve learned a lot in the two months. I didn’t realize I have a lot of food issues and negative beliefs. I need to sort through these and figure out what works for me and what doesn’t.
I want to be happy with my body.
It’s a short list, but I think it deals with every aspect of my life and I am looking forward to getting to know myself better. I know it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to painful some days. Growth isn’t easy. It’s messy and awkward. It’s going to take time and a lot of work.
I’m kinda in shock. I never expected this in a million years.
I scheduled a appointment for a physical for today a couple of months ago. My doctor’s been after me to get a physical for awhile now so last week Tuesday I went in for lab work. The next morning I was asked to come in for more blood work. High glucose numbers. Can I come in on Thursday to have more blood drawn?
I wasn’t really worried. I just got back from Vegas where I had chocolate doughnuts and cherry pie for breakfast.
Today I learned that the blood work from last week Thursday was for a three month period. My glucose numbers were high.
I have to pickup a prescription tomorrow to get my glucose numbers down. Hopefully this with diet and excercise will help.
My husband and his family have diabetes so I’m kinda familiar with it, but not really.
That is them.
This is me.
I ordered Diabetes for dummies today on Amazon.
I have to make an appointment to go to Diabetes classes at the clinic next week.
I’m doing ok. Kind of scared. Kind of in denial.
I’m not sure what to feel.
My mom says everything happens for a reason. I wonder what the reason for this is.
I’m treating myself with love, hope and more love.
I’ll take it day by day for now. It’s the only way I can take it.
Any words of wisdom for me good, bad or otherwise?