Out Of My Comfort Zone

This morning we put a offer on a house.  I’m scared.  Why is it that we dream of things and when they may happen we get scared?

I know part of the reason why I’m scared.  This house is out in the country and 25 minutes away from where I work.    I have never lived more than 10 minutes away from my job and I have never lived in the country.  It means I will have to rearrange my schedule and leave earlier to get to work on time.   I will get home later.  It will take more time out of my day.  On snowy days in the winter the drive will probably suck.

I’m totally out of my comfort zone.

I know once I get into the flow it will be fine.  I’ll get into a routine.  I’ll get to work on time.  I’ll learn how to drive on the snowy, slippery country roads.  Everything will work out.

It sure is easier to be in my comfort zone.  The only thing that sucks about being in my comfort zone is that I am comfortable, but I don’t change.

I want to let go and let the change happen, but I’ve had a lot of emotions run through me today.   At times today I was sad and at other tiem a voice inside my head was kicking and screaming because things might change.  I tell myself to let go and let the good things come into my life, but it’s hard.

I have a plaque in my office that reads:  Do not be afraid of change.  Be afraid of not changing.   Today I’m on the fence with this one today.  I want to move, but I’m afraid to move.

Kinda silly isn’t it?

Yes it is silly.  The offer hasn’t been accepted yet and I’m scared.

The funny thing is is that my husband has been telling me we should go look at the house for the last couple of months, but I didn’t want to.  It’s too far away.  I didn’t want to drive that far.  He talked me into going to look at it last Thursday.  I really didn’t want to look at it.  On the drive to the house I was bitching in my head about having to get up early and that I had to drive twenty five minutes to look at it, but you know what?   I’m glad I did.  I walked out of the house pleasantly surprised.  It’s a really nice house.  It has all of the old country house character.  The crown molding.  The built in shelves and cabinets.   It’s really neat.  I really can see us living happily there.

Cross your fingers that they accept the offer.

I’ll keep you posted.

 

 

 

I Wish I Knew What The Future Holds

We put an offer on a house on Saturday.  I was excited.  My husband was excited.  I loved this house.  I felt it was exactly what we were looking for.  I thought for sure our offer would be accepted.

I received a text from my agent about an hour ago saying the seller accepted a different offer.

F#@k!  Are we not meant to have a house?  A coworker texted me “I guess you weren’t meant to have that house”.  But if not that house which one will it be and how long will it take?

I’m trying to stay optimistic.  I’m trying to stay hopeful, but damn it, I wish I knew what the future held.  I wish I knew what direction is I was suppose to go in.  I wish I knew what I was suppose to do next.  I wish someone out of nowhere would say “I know his is the perfect house for you.  Put a offer on it and it’s yours.”

I wish.  I wish.  I wish.

I keep seeing butterflies.  Butterfies flying in the yard.  Butterflies flying past my truck while I’m driving.  I even saw a butterfly flying around in the building at work last week. I Googled it and butterflies mean change.  That leads me to wonder how my life is going to change.  For good or for bad.  They have been beautiful monarch butterflies so I hope that means for the good.

If only we could see what the future holds…but then life wouldn’t full of challenges would it?  We wouldn’t learn anything and we wouldn’t move forward.

So I guess it’s back to the drawing board.  I gotta put on my big girl pants, put myself back out there and go find us a house.