Category: divine guidance

I Wish I Knew What The Future Holds

We put an offer on a house on Saturday.  I was excited.  My husband was excited.  I loved this house.  I felt it was exactly what we were looking for.  I thought for sure our offer would be accepted.

I received a text from my agent about an hour ago saying the seller accepted a different offer.

F#@k!  Are we not meant to have a house?  A coworker texted me “I guess you weren’t meant to have that house”.  But if not that house which one will it be and how long will it take?

I’m trying to stay optimistic.  I’m trying to stay hopeful, but damn it, I wish I knew what the future held.  I wish I knew what direction is I was suppose to go in.  I wish I knew what I was suppose to do next.  I wish someone out of nowhere would say “I know his is the perfect house for you.  Put a offer on it and it’s yours.”

I wish.  I wish.  I wish.

I keep seeing butterflies.  Butterfies flying in the yard.  Butterflies flying past my truck while I’m driving.  I even saw a butterfly flying around in the building at work last week. I Googled it and butterflies mean change.  That leads me to wonder how my life is going to change.  For good or for bad.  They have been beautiful monarch butterflies so I hope that means for the good.

If only we could see what the future holds…but then life wouldn’t full of challenges would it?  We wouldn’t learn anything and we wouldn’t move forward.

So I guess it’s back to the drawing board.  I gotta put on my big girl pants, put myself back out there and go find us a house.

 

 

 

 

Divine Guidance…How Does It Work?

“Dad, if you want me to move you’ll have to find us a house.  We have looked and there’s nothing out there,” I said to my deceased father one Thursday night after work.

My dad hated the fact that I lived next to low income apartments.  He would ask, “Doesn’t it bother you coming home to a empty house while Steve is on the road?”  That was four years ago and it really didn’t bother me to come home.  The people in the apartments didn’t bother me.   Once in  great while it would bother me (depending on what tv show I watched) but not enough to worry about anything.

Now, four years later, it bothers me to be alone.  There’s drug deals going on next door and the cops are there almost a lot.  I want to move.  We’ve been looking for a house for the last six months and we have found nothing that fit us.  That’s why I was asking for my dad’s help.  Why not ask for a little help from up above?

I met my husband for breakfast the next morning at a local restaurant we frequent.  We were looking at Realtor.com when one of my favorite waitresses asked if we were looking for a house.

“Why?”  We asked in unison.  We were really getting bummed out about not finding a house.  The market is booming in our area.  Houses are being sold even before the get listed and getting over the list price.   It’s crazy.

“I have a house for sale,” She said and proceeded to tell us about it.

I thought to myself,  “Damn, Dad.  You’re good.”  I took it as a sign.

My husband looked at it that afternoon and I looked at it the next day.  We both loved it so we signed a contract to purchase it.  There was such a awesome vibe in that house…. like love flowed through it.   I felt it as soon as I walked in the door.  It reminded me of the apartment that my aunt and uncle had in Chicago.   The cool vibe was another reason why I thought we should buy it.

On the day of the home inspection there was a cardinal in the back yard.  My best friend, Mary, who passed away ten years ago loved cardinals so I took it as another sign that we were supposed to buy the house.

Things haven’t gone so well since then.  The sellers are moving to a different state and are having trouble finding a house.  The first deal didn’t go through.  It’s been a rough ride.  I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.   I thought because my dad picked out the house it would be a smooth ride.  I thought we had divine intervention, but now I feel like walking away.

I feel like walking away from the deal because the seller called us yesterday morning and blamed us and our bank for all of the problems they have been having.  His true colors came out yesterday and we didn’t like what we saw.   Now I realize why they are having problems with their realtor and seller on their end.

I keep asking myself  “What am I suppose to learn from this?”  The only good thing I can think of  is that my husband and I have grown closer and I love him more than I ever have.    We really communicated through this whole ordeal and have worked together to do everything we could to make this deal work.  I was really looking forward to living in this house with my husband.  This house made him happy and I like seeing him happy.

I know it’s probably stupid, but in a way, if we walk away from this deal I feel like I’m letting my dad down.  Maybe I’m not letting him down.  Maybe there is a higher purpose of this house deal than I realize right now that him and Mary can see, but I can’t.

Sometimes I wish that we could push fast forward and know the future.  I could see the house that we are suppose to buy so I can be on the lookout for it.

Who knows….maybe we are suppose to stay in the house we rent for awhile.

I believe that our loved ones guide us/help us from the other side.  I also believe that we all have a path we are suppose to take and things we have to learn in this lifetime.  I just wish I knew what our path was with this house.

I smelled cigarette smoke today and there was a cardinal that landed on a chair near the fire pit where I could see her in plain view so I know my dad and Mary are around me.  I just wish they were here in human form for me to talk to.

I guess all I can do right now is take a deep breath and let it go.  If we are suppose to buy the house everything will work out and if it doesn’t work on we need to put on our big girl and boy pants and walk away.

Wish me luck.