Why Do I Have All Of This Stuff?

Management is reorganizing the department I work in at the company I work for.  Last week I had clean out the cube I’ve been working in.  It wasn’t mine.  It was empty so I moved in.   That’s how I am at work.  Sometimes I don’t ask if I can do something.   I just do it.  If management doesn’t like what I’m doing they will ask me to stop.  If they don’t, I continue what I’m doing.  I’ve been in the cube for about six months. And now I have to move out.

It’s not that I had a lot to move, but until the department is reorganized I have to put my stuff on half of a desk or in my filing cabinet.   This is the littlest space I have had to put my stuff and it has made me ask one question.

Why do I have all of this stuff?

I have worked in several different departments in the twenty one years I have worked for this company so I have saved department notes, note from coworkers that are deceased or have left the company, misc. memos, paperwork I thought someone might need someday, pens (yes the company does provide them, but I like to bring my own from home.  I am a pen whore) and pencils, mouthwash, baby powder, aspirin, a 4 x 6 album of some of my wedding pictures, my Damn It Doll (I truly need this some days) and other miscellaneous things in this filing cabinet.  And candy.  I can’t forget the candy.

I need to clean it out.  Except the candy.  People like candy and are more willing to do things for you if you give them candy so I keep it on hand.

To me, right now, having all of that stuff means I plan on staying forever.  Maybe not forever, but I have 13 years til I retire.  I really don’t plan on staying there for the next 13 years, but that is totally another post.  I really don’t need all of that stuff.  I’ve been contemplating staying late one day next week and cleaning out my desk off of the clock.  Yes, off of the clock.  I want to be able to take the time I need to go thru my stuff and decide if I need it or not.  What would happen if I threw away paperwork from the other departments that I have worked in, but haven’t used in years?  I was never really in management so why should I keep all of the paperwork that I used to order material and other stuff in the past.    What if keeping all of that stuff is keeping me tied to a job I really don’t want to be at anymore?  Don’t get me wrong.  I work for a good company.  I have excellent coworkers.  I have a gravy job that allows my characters to talk to me and essay/blog/novel ideas to come to the surface while I work.  I just don’t agree with the management style and what things people get away with.  I try not to let this bother me, but it’s hard not to.    The more I write the more I know this is really want to do now and for my retirement.  I would love it if I could write til the day I die.

As I look at my job life, I have to think about all of the crap I have in my house.  For example, my utensil drawer in my kitchen.  It’s not huge, but there’s a lot of stuff crammed in it.  I thought I cleaned it out in April when I was packing up the kitchen before the house deal fell through, but I guess I didn’t clean it out good enough. I will have to go thru it again.  Thank God we are having a garage sale in April.

How do I really know what I really need?  This is something I need to get clear on.  What I have and why I am holding on to it.  Sometimes I’m afraid to give something away that someone gave me.  If they are deceased I wonder if they can see that I’m giving what they gave me away.  I know this is kinda silly, but sometimes I wonder.  Or would they be happy that I’m giving it away?  I wonder if keeping something is keeping me from something else?

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Being sick these last couple of weeks has made me question a lot of areas in my life.   I’ve noticed a lot of areas in my house/life that are clogged with stuff and need to be cleaned out.  This isn’t even one of the posts I wrote when I was sick and or in Vegas.  I wrote it after I cleaned out my desk last week Monday.

Being sick really sucked, but I’m grateful, too, because it has made me think about things I haven’t thought of in awhile or if ever.  I know I need to change things in my life to get to where I want to go and this is what my blog posts will probably be about for the next couple of months.

Thanks for being with me on my journey.

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “Why Do I Have All Of This Stuff?”

  1. I think a lot of these thoughts, too. Ultimately, it is liberating to get rid of excess stuff. That doesn’t make it any easier for me to do it, because I’m me and I can complicate respiration. I tend to try and thank an object for its service to me, or thank the loved one who gave it to me; then I pass it on so that it can serve someone else. I also try and think of it as helping that loved one do something good for someone else besides just me, because who DOESN’T want to do good in the world? I’m kind of rambling, but maybe those those thoughts will help you?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s amazing how much stuff we accumulate. I have some much stuff at work I never look at. Every time I move classroom I just pack it up and move it as I don’t have the energy to move it.

    The only time I ever really decluttered property was years ago when I moved home 6 times in two years. I got so fed up with packing I got rid of a huge amount of stuff. Now I have even more stuff. When I retire I’m going to move abroad hopefully then I will get rid of all my junk. Not my Harry Potter stuff thou, that comes with me.

    Liked by 1 person

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