This past weekend was bad. My Menopause fog was in full effect on Saturday. I couldn’t remember crap and my patience was running very thin.
It started at McDonald’s. I was a little irritated because they were busy and no one acknowledged that I was standing there. I understand that they are busy, but I also expected one of the three women behind the counter to say, “I’ll be with you in just a moment.” Common courtesy.
Later on that afternoon my husband wanted me to move the truck and lawn mower trailer so he could cut the grass. This is something I have never done before and I really didn’t want to do it. Long story short — the truck was kinda stuck so I kept gunning it and I put a 3 foot long rut into the lawn of my brother in laws campsite. I was informed I needed to put the truck into a different gear. How was I suppose to know if no one tells me?
After that, while we were frying supper (brats, pork chops, hamburger and potatoes, corn and asparagus wrapped in foil) over the bonfire, I tried to get the anti-gravity chair open and failed. I expected the chair to open right away and when it didn’t I was ready to throw it and sit on the steps of my brother’s deck.
My brother in law patiently talked through getting my chair open.
My brother started to make a menopause joke.
I shut him up before he could finish. “Menopause isn’t a joke. It’s real. It isn’t easy and it sucks.”
Silence. They looked at me like I was a crazy woman and I feel like an ass because I let my menopause symptoms get the best of me, but sometimes I can’t help it. The impatience comes out of nowhere. Boom! It’s right there with no warning and me (and everyone else around me) has to deal with it.
I was embarrassed because I didn’t want everyone to see what a hot mess I felt like on the inside. The forgetfulness is one one thing, but then add in impatience and anger. Look out. Most of the time I try to keep my menopausal symptoms to myself, but sometimes, no matter how tightly the box is closed, they escape and there really isn’t anything I can do about it. My menopausal symptoms are real. I’m not making things up to get attention or to get treated like a princess. There are a lot of things happening in my body and I’m trying to make the best of it.
I’m lucky. I have a husband I can talk to about my symptoms. He listens and is there for me. He gives me the time and space I need. He jokes around and makes me laugh. If I say “I’m stupid today” he know I need help with things because I can’t remember anything. My mind is just a fog and I have to wait until it clears to function normally again.
Usually acupuncture takes care of my menopausal symptoms, but my acupuncture appointment on Friday was cancelled due to road construction. I didn’t think it would be a problem, but it was. I needed acupuncture and I needed it bad!
Some days I wish he made house calls.