Author: chrissy

I needed to read this today. It’s totally where I am at in my life.

Jen Sincero is the creator of this awesome page a day calendar. Thanks Jen!

What exactly is fun?

This is what I want to explore with these Friday posts.

Honestly, I don’t know what fun is right now.

I think I used to know, but today I seriously don’t know.

I keep asking myself one question.

Is what I think is fun really fun or is it fun because I was taught to believe it was fun or someone told me it was fun or whatever other reason?

Do you understand what I mean?

Lately I’ve been thinking about what it fun for me.

Not because it’s what I was taught.

Not because someone else said it was.

Not because I think it should be fun.

But because I really think it is fun.

But first…..

Let’s define fun.

According to the Oxford Dictionary (googled) it means:

Enjoyment, amusement or light hearted pleasure.

At 56, I am questioning what fun means to me and what it means in my life.

I don’t think I’m having a lot of fun lately.

The kind of fun that makes my heart sing.

This is what has made me question what fun really is.

What is fun really?

What does fun mean to you?

This is my question for you today.

The first memory I have of wanting to be a writer was when I was in high school. I think I was a sophomore.

One day in English class we had to write a paragraph and draw a picture that described what we wrote.

I rememeber being excited because an author was there to read our paragraph and give us feedback.

I was heartbroken when she said mine was terrible so I erased it and started over.

“Don’t ever erase what you wrote because you might use it later,” she told me.

That’s all I remember. I don’t know if I finished or not or if she liked it or not.

Let’s back up to grade school.

I loved the library and I loved to read. My mom read to me when I was little and sometimes we went to the library.

I loved going to the library after school to pick out book. When I was in 3rd or 4th grade I remember being in awe of all of the books in the library. Every book was written by a person. I remember thinking maybe I could write a book some day.

In Jr. high or high school I would go to the library and pick out a ton of books and bring them all home. I would never read them all, but it felt so good have them next to my bed every day.

I loved books. They were stories about peoples lives. I loved reading about them and I would get lost in them. I didn’t care if they were made up or not.

I don’t remember what grade I was in but I rememeber the teacher asking me after reading my book report if I was having problems at home because of the book I used for my book report. I was surprised. I couldn’t talk about the problem (my sister ran away from time to time) to any one so I read.

After this I knew I wanted to help people. I wanted to share my story to help people. At this point I don’t remember writing being in the equation. I just knew wanted to help people. I think it was in jr. high and I wanted to be a counselor.

This probably doesn’t make much sense to you. I’m just trying to remember.

thanks for reading.

I had an appointment with my sinus doctor this morning to discuss the results of my 2nd CT scan.

I didnt know what to expect.

I feel great. I can breathe fully. My nasal passages are clear.

I still was a little scared because you never know…..

My mom came with me to my appointment because she wanted to see what was going on. She thought I have had too many sinus infections in the past couple of years and I needed to figure it out.

I agree.

Overall the appointment was great. My sinus cavities are clear and everything looks great. I don’t need surgery. Yeah!

My mom and I got to talk for an hour because the doctor was running late. I haven’t seen her in over 3 weeks because I quarantined for two weeks because I was in Vegas. We didn’t mind waiting. It was nice to see her face to face. Or mask to mask

My doctor brought his little dachshund to the office and she laid on my lap while I pet her throughout my appointment. She’s a little cutie.

A great morning is a great way to start the day!

The last month has been tough.

Learning I have Diabetes was a shock, but I have adjusted.

Kind of.

I still want to eat white bread and chocolate and drink Pepsi and Mountain Dew.

Every.

Damn.

Day.

Some days I’m okay with it because I see the big picture.

Other days I’m angry, like today, because I want a Big Mac, a Pepsi and a mud pie. I feel like stamping my feet and staying home and pouting all day.

I know. Childish behavior.

I’m taking it one day at a time. Some days are better than others.

I’ve been seeing an Ear, Nose and Throat Doctor for my sinus issues. I’ve had a sinus infection off and on for the last three months. I want to understand why I have them. Since I have been taking medication I feel better and I can breathe through both nostrils. Yeah.

I think these two issues are the reasons I haven’t been blogging.

Too damn tired.

Now that I feel better, ideas are coming again and I feel like writing again.

Yeah!

I wasn’t sure I was going to return, but here I am.

It feels good.

Happy New Year!