Shit Happens

I did something really stupid today.  I’m embarrassed to tell my story, but everyone makes mistakes and nothing bad happened.  It could have been bad, but luckily for me someone upstairs was looking out for me.  I’m grateful for that today.

I’ve been sick all week with one of the viruses that have been going around.  I went to the doctor on Monday because the wheezing in my chest scared the crap out of me.  My doctor told me it was a virus and it would run it’s course.  Monday I called in sick to work.  My doctor said Tuesday I took a vacation day.  My chest was better but my nose wouldn’t stop running.  Yes, I was taking cold medicine, Mucinex, Delsym, rubbing myself in Vick’s and sucking on cough drops.  Wednesday I worked 10 hours and thought I was going to die.  I couldn’t breathe.  My face was all red from blowing my nose on Tuesday and Wednesday.  Yesterday I called in sick.  I felt a little bit better, but I wanted to rest.  Normally I wouldn’t call or take vacation but my husband was home on and off all week and I didn’t want to him sick with this virus because he had all of his teeth pulled today.  If he was sick they wouldn’t pull his teeth and he really needed it done for health reasons.

Last night was the first night since Sat. night that I didn’t take any cold medicine.  I felt kinda off kilter because of all of the medicine I took, but I was confident that I could drive him home, grab his prescriptions and take care of him the rest of the day.  I would take a nap later on that afternoon.  I was fine until the called me in the recovery room and the nurse showed me how to fold the gauze and place it on his gums.  I almost puked when she took the old gauze out and showed it to me.  It was all bloody and gross.  She talked me thru all of the stuff I would have to do.  Pain meds, foods he could eat, antibiotics, and time intervals for changing the gauze.  The ice packs.  I can’t forget the ice packs.

After we were done I went to get the truck.  His truck.  The truck I don’t drive all of the time.  I know I’m making excuses, but hear me out.  As I’m driving up to the door all of the instructions are running around in my head and I see him sitting in a wheel chair.  I’m thinking I need to get out of the truck and go to passenger and get him settled in.  I get out of the truck and it starts rolling backward.  I screaming for someone to help me.  I’m looking at all of the cars I’m going to hit if this truck doesn’t stop.  I’m panicking.  I’m reaching over (no i didn’t think about jumping back in the truck on stepping on the brake) to grab the shifter.  I don’t know if I stopped the truck or if it was something my husband did, but somehow the truck stopped.  Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I felt it was.  I haven’t talked to my husband about it and he hasn’t said anything.  I don’t know if he even remembers.  I feel horrible that he had to get out of the wheel chair after getting all of teeth pulled to help his wife because she didn’t put the truck in park.  Obviously all of the cold meds I took during the week didn’t make me competent to drive.  It was the first time in my life that anything like that has happened.  I still feel like a dumb ass.  Maybe it was seeing the blood and knowing I had to replace the gauze every 15 minutes that got me in a funk.

No one got hurt.  My husband is doing fine.  I am fine.  I was a little shook up this morning.  I kept apologizing for being a dumb ass, but he knows how sick I was this week.  I didn’t damage the building, grass or anyone’s vehicle.  All is good.  The only damage I did do is to my pinkie finger.  It must have got caught it  in between the shifter and the steering wheel or something as I tried to get the shifter into park because it is black and blue and hurts like hell.  And now that I think about it I need to give myself some credit.  At least I ran after it instead of standing there and watching it crash into the building or some cars.  This makes me feel a little bit better.

Shit happens.  It’s called being human.  I have to learn from the incident and move on.  It was a fluke thing.  I was sick.  And I need to forgive myself and call it a day.

If only it were that easy.  I still think I’m a dumb ass and probably always will. I can’t believe I did something that stupid and irresponsible.  I know better than that.

That’s my story.