I’m Going To See A Counselor

Yes.  I am going to see a counselor.

There.  I said it.

Why?

There’s a lot of different reasons.

Menopause is bringing stuff up from the past.

I want more of myself in my life.

My aunt died recently with a lot of her dreams unfulfilled and I don’t want to end up like her.

My work situation isn’t good.  In October I will be there 25 years and I have never felt this bad.  Management doesn’t care.  I don’t care.  it’s not good and I need to find a way out.

Turning 56 this year has been hard for a lot of different reasons.

I want/need more me time in my marriage.  I need more time to be creative and to explore the different parts of me.

I need to find out what I want and need.  I think I have lost myself in doing the same thing year after after. 

I think I want to change directions in some areas of my life and I know this is going to upset some people.

There were three situations that happened in May that brought these things to the surface.

I will write about them in later posts.

I’m glad I’m talking to a counselor. I need a third party view.

I had my first sesssion with her on Tuesday and it went well.

I learned I need to have better boundaries in my life.

I need to start taking care of myself better and putting myself first.

I need to listen better.

I need to communicate better.

Today I spent three hours by myself. I went to a used bookstore and my favorite boutique by the river. I stopped at a couple of garage sales on my way home. I went to a wellness creativity center and bought some used ink stamps for a drawing I am working on.

It helped me to clear my head.

I need to do this more often.

I will let you know how my sessions are going in future posts.

Dont worry.

I’m not going to harm myself nor am I suicidal.

I just know I need to change a couple of things It’s not going to be easy but I can do it.

I need to be happy again.