Yes. I am going to see a counselor.
There. I said it.
Why?
There’s a lot of different reasons.
Menopause is bringing stuff up from the past.
I want more of myself in my life.
My aunt died recently with a lot of her dreams unfulfilled and I don’t want to end up like her.
My work situation isn’t good. In October I will be there 25 years and I have never felt this bad. Management doesn’t care. I don’t care. it’s not good and I need to find a way out.
Turning 56 this year has been hard for a lot of different reasons.
I want/need more me time in my marriage. I need more time to be creative and to explore the different parts of me.
I need to find out what I want and need. I think I have lost myself in doing the same thing year after after.
I think I want to change directions in some areas of my life and I know this is going to upset some people.
There were three situations that happened in May that brought these things to the surface.
I will write about them in later posts.
I’m glad I’m talking to a counselor. I need a third party view.
I had my first sesssion with her on Tuesday and it went well.
I learned I need to have better boundaries in my life.
I need to start taking care of myself better and putting myself first.
I need to listen better.
I need to communicate better.
Today I spent three hours by myself. I went to a used bookstore and my favorite boutique by the river. I stopped at a couple of garage sales on my way home. I went to a wellness creativity center and bought some used ink stamps for a drawing I am working on.
It helped me to clear my head.
I need to do this more often.
I will let you know how my sessions are going in future posts.
Dont worry.
I’m not going to harm myself nor am I suicidal.
I just know I need to change a couple of things It’s not going to be easy but I can do it.
I need to be happy again.
I am wishing you all the best! Did we know you stamp and draw? Maybe you can share an image when it’s done.
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I started out 2020 with a word and drawing for the week but with the pandemic I stopped. I’m not good at it but I like to do it. I’ll post it when I’m done. Thanks!!!!
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You do what you need to do to take care of yourself!!
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I think this is painful, truthful, and wonderful. We can’t always make sense of the world alone. I, too, had a job that I was at for 18 years that was unfulfilling, boring, and stressful. And the outside world didn’t help. I am glad you are acknowledging where you are. You can only go forward. Lots of love coming your way.
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