Day 2 Money

I wrote about manifesting money from Unleashing Your Inner Money Babe and sharing what Day 1 entailed a couple of weeks ago.

I didnt get to Day 2.

I haven’t been really happy in the last couple of months. First the virus and then the death of George Floyd and the riots and looting and the ten minute breaks at work.

I don’t feel cared for at work. All during this virus stuff, management has been absent. I haven’t seen the Pesident or CEO since the virus started. Management hasn’t asked how we are doing it or if we need anything. Silence. We did get a drum of hand sanitizer seven weeks into the virus. Better late than never.

And the ten minute breaks well….i did lose four pounds. I usually have breakfast at noon and then an apple or celery on my way to work. On my first break I eat granola or half of something I need to heat up and on my 2nd break I finish what I made in the microwave. My last break I eat a banana. It hasn’t been the worst, but I do6nt like it. I miss being able to leave for awhile and clear my head. Rumor has it the 3 ten minute breaks were already decided before we voted.

Maybe some day I will get used to it.

I started over with Day 1 yesterday. I cleaned out my purse and did somethings with my money box.

Day 2 is centered around forgiving people to wronged you.

With all of the talk about freedom of speech and expressing yourself in the last two weeks a lot of stuff has come to the surface for me.

I dont feel my opinion matters at work so I’m kinda angry about that. Ok. So I’m angry. It’s been like this new managment took over about 5 years ago. I can voice my opinion but management’s view is basically if you don’t like it you can get a different job. I feel like I’m being treated like a child.

Which brings me to my childhood. I was the first child of four so I was raised to be an example. I was suppose to be the good one and not make any mistakes.

I’ve been angry lately and this is part of the reason. I wasn’t suppose to have an opinion or show emotion. I wasn’t encouraged to be myself.

It’s been an emotional day. I released a lot of emotion which I am grateful for but it’s so draining.

I took the day off today to be gentle with myself and love myself.

I’ve been writing in my journal off and on today about the times from my childhood that need forgiveness. I’ve cried. I’ve visualized using a baseball to hit a steel pole to get my anger out. I’ve also been laying in the chair and deep breathing to let go of all of the anger and other emotions I’ve been holding onto.

There’s more times I need to forgive than I remembered so this is going to take me longer than a day.

I’m going to end it here and lay in the chair cuddled in a blanket, watch tv and listen to the rain.

I’ll finish Day 2 when I’m ready. Not sure when that will be.