Forward

Why am I still writing this?

I’ve thought about giving up on my Word of the Week a hundred times over the past month or so.

My life hasn’t been easy these last two months. My mom’s situation and all that has entailed. My trip to Vegas. All of the mandatory overtime. The sinus infection I currently have that won’t go away. It’s been 10 days and I still feel like crap and am crabby.

Last night I was playing catch up. I was proofing Week 4 and I typed Week 7. There must be something wrong with my internet because Week 4 didn’t upload and Week 7 vanished into thin air.

Fuck!

Breathe Chris. Breathe

My word for Week 8 is foward.

I’m not giving up because I’m behind and I dont know when I will catch up. I’m just going to keep moving forward.

I don’t write my blog to make money, for fame or fortune or to get a book deal.

It’s for me.

I’m doing the word of the week for myself. I want to see what I create over the course of a year and I want to see how my drawing improves. I want to see how I grow. I want to get out of my comfort zone.

It’s my blog. I make the rules and one if my rules is is that it’s ok if I slip up. Get off track. Wander away for a bit.

I know you guys don’t care if I’m on time because you know what I’m dealing with. I know I should cut myself some slack. Stuff happens and I just need to get back on track.

I know I need to be more gentle with myself.

Humoringthegoddess reminded me of this when she commented this on one of my posts: take care of yourself along with your mom. We need both of you.

This is why sat in the chair yesterday and will do the same today. Obviously I need to heal.

I have to admit it feels good to hunker down with a blanket in my husband’s recliner and relax. It’s been a long time since I have done this.

I will keep moving forward, but I need to take care of myself first.