Things

I keep things. Newspaper clippings. Magazines. Magazine articles. Old journals. Story ideas. Among other things.

I either don’t have time to read the magazines so they pile up or I can’t figure out to do with the other stuff so I keep moving it. The items were in a box when we moved, then in a drawer, then in a cute metal bin under the coffee table.

Now the items are laying on the living room floor.

I keep magazines. I dont know why. I keep them even if there isn’t anything on the front cover that interests me. Even if I don’t have time to read them.

I keep them.

Maybe I’m afraid I’m going to miss something if I dont read it from cover to cover. An article that might help me on my journey. A word that I need to hear. A picture that touches my heart.

Out of 20 magazines today, I didnt keep any. I paged through some of them. I ripped out 5 pages and I’m going to put them in a file of interesting things. I put the magazines in the thrift store box.

This leads me to the pile of papers on the floor. An old journal. A bracelet I no longer wear. Non winning lottery tickets that need to be sent in for the 2nd chance drawing. Pictures. Among other things.

My goal for tonight is to get through this pile. It’s not big, but I have to make decisions. Decisions that I have been putting off for a long time. I dont know why.

Yes, I do. I didn’t want to make a decision. There were other piles of clutter I needed to deal with first. I had to get to work. It was christmas. We were on 10 hours of overtime. My husband and I were going to vegas or the trailer.

You get the point….

I was stalling.

What I’ve realized about this clutter is that it is clogging my life. My mind. My space. My psyche. Even though it’s not alot, but it’s still clogging me and my space.

What I have learned while getting rid of stuff lately is that I liked the clutter around so I would have an excuse not to go after my dreams. As I let go, I realized I was hiding.

As I let go, I also found the strength to look at my dreams and figure out what ones I wanted to keep and what ones I need to let go of. Of the direction I want to go in.

As I let go, the more of myself I found. I’m happier. More focused. More myself.

There’s more to stuff than just stuff. Its emotional. Its messy. It’s full of feelings, memories and dreams.

I called in sick today and I’m glad I did. I love these quiet days of reflection and self care. Time to figure things out and take naps.

I feel my life changing. Going in a different direction. Getting closer to who I really am.

I’m proud of myself for how far I have come.

As I let go of more stuff and get things organized, I’m excited to see where life takes me next.

I’ll keep you posted.