I’ve Been Cheating

With toasted white bread that is.

My stomach hasn’t been feeling the best for the last couple of days. I think I have a stomach bug that is going around work.

White bread makes my stomach feel better so I have been eating it knowing full well that it is not good for my diabetes.

Not white bread but white hamburger buns that were leftover from our weekend at the trailer. Kind of the same just a different shape.

I love white bread. It’s a comfort food for me. If I had a bad day at work I would come home and have a piece or two with either just butter or butter and peanut butter on it.

And just the plain white bread. Piggly Wiggly white bread to be exact with Country Crock butter or Jiff peanut butter.

Picky aren’t I?

Lately I’ve been having it with butter on it.

I love white bread.

I love the way it tastes. I love how the butter soaks into the bread and I can taste the buttery flavor as soon as I bite into it. I live the way it smells. I love the way it looks as it waits for me to eat it.

I just love it.

But my cheating must come to an end.

My stomach isn’t better today but the white buns are gone and I’m not buying anymore.

I’m not going to lie. I’ve been cheating for a month or so but not every day. I hide a loaf where my husband can’t see it and eat it when I come home from work. Work has been stressful lately and that makes me feel better.

I need to learn how to deal with my work stress better. Without food. Without white bread.

This last week has helped me realize this.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I hide it. Almost like a alcoholic hiding a bottle of vodka. Sneaky.

Is there a 12 step group for white bread addiction?

I will still eat it occasionally at a restuarant or a party. I won’t give it up totally.

But for now I have to stop buying and eating it at home.

So good bye white bread.

I love you and will always lust after you.