A Different Way Home

For the last four weeks the road I usually take home has been closed.  Now I only have four roads I have to drive on to get home.  The road that is closed is the 3rd I have to take on my journey home.  It is a main road so that means to get to the road I live on I have to take a back road.

I love the road that is closed.  I love the road because I love to drive by and see my cows (no, they really aren’t my cows…but you know what I mean) in the pasture.  It calms me for some reason.  At night I can barely see them.  I mostly see the white next to the black and I know they are out there.  I love that.  (Yes, this will be a future post)

I’m not a big fan of driving down country roads that I don’t know at night.  During the day it’s not a problem, but at night it’s creepy.  I imagine bad things happening.  A car passing me, suddenly stops blocking my way.  I try to back up and get away, but the guy wearing a mask drags me and throws me in his car.  A dear hits my truck and I have to call 911 and I don’t know where the hell I am at.  A person walks out of the cornfield and stands in the middle of the road and won’t move.

Yesterday I took a different way to work.  Instead of turning at the country road I’ve been turning at I drove to the next one and stopped at the stop sign and than took a left.  That’s when I noticed it was a four way stop.  I thought I should take this road home today.

On my way home two weeks ago I missed a turn because there was a car behind me and I was nervous.   I turned at the next cross road.  I was scared.  I had no idea where I was.  I did have a full tank of gas.  I could have turned around and went back, but I decided to keep driving and luckily when I hit the next cross road I knew the markers and I knew where I was.

It’s scary out there on the back roads in farm country.  It’s pitch black.  Pitch.  Black. The only light is the occasional street light on someone’s property or a lights over a garage door.  The roads don’t end for blocks and blocks.  Most of the houses/farms aren’t close to the road so I’m really all by myself.  Me and the open farm fields that I can barely see.

All day yesterday I was thinking about taking that road home.  It was the first time I was on the road, but how hard could it be to find my way in the dark?  All I have to do is drive straight a couple of miles until I get to the stop sign and take a right.

Well, I missed the turn for the road.  Yeah right.  If I am being honest with myself I have to admit I chickened out.  It happens sometimes.

Tonight I didn’t chicken out.  I didn’t miss the turn and I made it to the stop sign.  I drove 44 mph in a 55 mph zone, but there wasn’t anyone behind me so it wasn’t a big deal.  I was scared, but I made myself do it.   (just so you know I’m not driving around in a piece of junk that might break down at any minute.  I drive a 2016 Ford Escape that is very reliable).

I believe that once in a while we need to do what scares us.  We need to get ourselves out of our comfort zone.  We need to get our blood pumping.  Squish our fears.  And do whatever scares us.

I’m doing another thing that scares right now.  Writing this post.  I don’t feel I’m very good at explaining things of this nature so I’m fussing over my word choices, sentence structure and God knows what else.  I’m second guessing myself while my inner critic is saying to “Why are you trying to write this post?  No one will understand it anyway.”

Guess what?  I wrote it anyway.  If no one understands what I am saying that’s ok.  I tried.  People will give me suggestions on how to improve that side of my writing and I will chalk it up as a learning experience.

I think sometimes we stay in our comfort zone because we are afraid of doing something wrong or of failing.  We forget that that is how we learn.  By letting ourselves wander out of our comfort zone we get stronger, smarter and one step closer to whatever it is we are wandering to.

Today I’m wandering to being a better writer and helping people through my writing.

What are you wandering to?

What country road are you going to drive down today to get one step closer to your dreams?

Good luck whatever it is.