Missing My Old Life Today

I’m grieving the loss of my old life today.  You know.  The way things used to be before the virus.

I’m a little sad.  I’m not crying.  I think it’s more of a missing.

I’m missing the way things used to be.

I’m missing the carefree days of running into a store without a mask.

I’m missing seeing people smile and hugging them.

I’m missing spending time with my mom.   I wish I could pick her up and go shopping for a couple of hours or out to lunch.  I hate being six feet away and not being able to hug her.

I’m missing Las Vegas and the way my vacations used to be.

I’m missing the overtime money, but not the hours.

I’m missing adventure Wednesday’s with my mom and my niece exploring our city and the communities around us.

I’m missing a lot of different things.

There’s a lot to miss.

It’s finally sinking in that things will never be the same as they were before the virus no matter how hard I wish and pray.  It’s just not an option.

I’m beginning to let go and accept that my life will never be the same.

It’s scary, yet it’s exciting.

I promised myself at the beginning of the virus that I would come out a better person on the flip side and even though we are not on the flip side I feel I am a better person.

I know I can’t go back to my old life.  I have changed and grown too much.  I have learned too much.  I am stronger.  I stand taller.  I know what I want and have started to go after it.

I am more of the me I longed to be.

I have to let go of the old me and my old life.  The old thoughts and the old way of doing things.

I need to let go with love and lots of self care.

From now on I will greet each day with a smile and a grateful heart.

Today I will let myself grieve and tomorrow I will keep moving forward.

Ready or not, new life, here I come!