I Love Sending Christmas Cards

I don’t know why,  but I love to sending Christmas cards.  Some people call me crazy.  Some people think I am too in depth.  Some people think I spend too much time and or money.  I don’t care.  I love to do it!

I am very picky about the Christmas cards I send.  I don’t send cheap cards.  The cards I send have to have a nice picture on the front and a meaningful saying on the inside.  The cards I send hold a special meaning to me and I hope they mean something special to the receiver.  I am sending a part of myself and what I believe and what I hold deep in my heart.  I want them to be special.

I usually buy special pens to write on the inside with.  Sometimes I buy silver and gold pens and sometimes I buy red and green pens.  They can’t be any pen.  They have to feel nice in my hand and they have to write nice.  This year I didn’t like the silver and gold pens I bought so I used red and green pens I had at home instead.    I usually write the name of the person(s) in red, then I write Merry Christmas and Happy New Year in green and then I write love, steve and chrissy in red or vice versa.  Sometimes I do write special messages inside, but usually I don’t.

I usually address the front of the card with regular black or  blue ink, but in the middle of the back of the envelope I stamp a saying or picture.  This year I stamped a snowman holding up its arms and above his arms is a heart.  To me it looks like the snowman is giving the heart to the person who opens the envelope.

I love sending cards because I think it sets a good tone to the start of the Christmas season.  To me sending cards is sending love.  I’m letting the person know I am thinking of them this holiday season and that I love them.

I wrote out 29 cards today and I am not finished.  I send special cards to my mom, sister and her family and my brother and my other brother and his girlfriend.  I always give the mail man a card with $20 dollars in it.  I’m sending out more cards this year than I normally would because I think with all of tragedies that happened this year the world needs more love, more happy moments, more smiles, more giving and more caring.

Today I’m sending you, my beloved readers, virtual hugs, love and warm holidays wishes for a very happy holiday season. Thanks so much for reading my blog, your comments, for sharing your stories with me and for helping me grow and become a better person and writer.  Your support means more than you know.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Love, Chrissy

 

 

 

 

My Morning What??

I don’t have a morning routine.  The only things I do every day before I go to work, that may or may not be considered a routine, is take a shower, talk to my husband and eat.    The time I have between when I get up and when I go to work is up in the air.  I may do stuff.  I may not.  I don’t have an after work routine.  I don’t have a weekend routine.  Everything is up in the air.  Maybe it’s because I don’t have kids.  Maybe it’s because I haven’t thought about it til now.

Since I wrote my last post I have been thinking that I want to be more productive in the morning instead of getting up and wondering aimlessly around the house wondering what I should do.  I know what I have to do and what I need to do, but sometimes that isn’t enough to entice me to do anything.  I was thinking that I should decide the night before what I want to write or what chores I want to accomplish the next day so I can get up and start on it/them.  Working ten hour days and sleeping 7 to 8 hours a night only leaves me three or four hours to get things done before work and two hours after work.

This is not a lot of time.

It’s not a lot of time, but if I am honest with myself I have to admit I don’t spend my time wisely because my house/life is so disorganized.  Basically my writing life.  I have my writing projects in the living room and in my office.  I need to go through the piles and get things organized.  It’s not just my writing life that is disorganized.  I have a pile of papers on the coffee table (next to my writing stuff) in the living room.  Mail that hasn’t been opened/dealt with, ripped out magazine articles, bank receipts, coupons, sale flyers, etc.  This is why I probably walk around aimlessly in the morning because I am overwhelmed by the clutter.  It’s not that bad.  It’s not like an episode of Hoarders by any means.  It would probably take an two or three hours to deal with it and get everything in order, but I keep putting it off.  Then I would have to keep everything cleaned up and put away or it will happen all over again, but hat’s a whole different post.

It may seem like I’m rambling in this post.  I suppose I could write about this in my journal, but if I write a post about it then I have to own it  Do something about it.  Be responsible.  In other words — I need to get my ass in gear and deal with it.  Bottom line.

As you know, I usually write a rough draft of a post before I type and publish it.  Well, a couple of days ago as I writing this post I started to go though the blog stack of papers.  I was amazed at how much non-blog stuff there was in the pile.  Credit card receipts, coupons, etc.  I took 30 minutes, but I muddled through the pile and filed stuff.  The only thing I have left to do is separate the written blog posts that I have typed up from the started posts (which I need to finish) and file them.  Since my file folder of done written blog posts is getting packed, I think I’m going to buy a decorative box (a box that will look nice on my bookshelf) and put everything in the box.  It will be easier for me because all I have to do is type up my post, write done on it and date it and put it in the box.  I don’t know why I am saving my posts.  I just do.

I felt good about getting that much done and organized.  My pile is a quarter of the size it was.  It also feels good to have my desk cleaned off so I can put the writing project I want to work on next beside my keyboard.  In the morning I can walk into the office, turn on my computer and start writing.

I want my morning routine to be as follows:  wake up.  lay in bed while i think about how I want my day to go and what I want to accomplish.  Repeat some positive affirmations.  Deep breathe.  Start my day focused and on a positive note.  Write. Shower. Eat. Call Steve. Go to work.

I now have a morning routine.  Yeah me!

I actually typed this post yesterday morning and I was going to put the finishing touches on it last night, but I forgot about it until about an hour before I was suppose to go to work today.  Whoops.  So I am publishing it tonight — a day late.

 

Girl On Fire

What I loved most about this years Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is Angelica Hale from America’s Got Talent singing “Girl on Fire” by Alicia Keyes.  9 years old and kicking butt!

I love the parade.  It always inspires me because almost everyone in the parade is living their dreams.  The musicians and dancers.  The actors and actresses.  The screenwriters and playwrights.

If they are living their dreams why can’t I live mine?

I’ve been thinking about this for the last couple of days.  Why can’t I?  I think that part of my problem is that I don’t have a specific goal.  I know I want to be an author but I don’t have any specific goals.  I want to get my essays and short stories published and I would love to write the final draft of my romance novel, but I don’t have any specific goals.  Goals that I write down on paper and achieve.   Goals that I work toward every time I sit down to write.  I don’t know why I don’t write down my goals.  I have goals in my head.  Floating around in my head.  Sometimes they are close.  Sometimes they are far away.

I need to get my office (my half of our office) in order.  I have a stack of papers for my blog on one side of my desk.  Old blog posts that I have typed and need to file.  Partially written blog posts that I need to file or finish.  Magazine articles and other stuff I find interesting to possibly write about in future blog posts.  I keep piling stuff on the pile and not dealing with it.  On the other side I have notes, a notebook and two folders for my first draft for NaNoWriMo.  (I wrote a couple of scenes over the past week).  I would like to have a clean desk.

I think I have a lot of stuff that I don’t need on my bookshelf.  Notebooks and notepads.  I love notebooks.  I usually write the 1st draft of my posts in a notebook of some kind.  College ruled.  Spiral works best for me and preferably with a pocket.  I have a notebook in my office, in the living room, in my truck and in my locker at work.  The goal for my bookshelf is to have all of my writing projects on the shelves so I can easily see and access them.  If I write notes for a project I can easily file the notes or grab it and work on it.

I realized this weekend that I don’t have any rhyme or reason to my desk.  It holds my computer, keyboard, mouse and piles of paper.  Because my desk is a mess I have no idea where I am with my writing projects.  My goal for my desk is that I would love to be able to walk into my office and start working instead of looking at it and mumbling “WTF!”

What is in my head and what is in my office are far apart.  I’ve been putting off dealing with my office issues because I was hoping we were moving and I would have my own office.  That didn’t happen so I need put my big girl pants on and deal with what I have.  A very disorganized writing life….and then I wonder why I don’t accomplish anything.

I want my office to have only what I need in it and not what I think I might use some day.  I get distracted by my stuff.  I have a lot of “things” in my office instead of a lot of writing.  This definitely needs to change.  I want to have a place for everything in my office and everything in it’s place.

Right now this girl is definitely not on fire, but I would like to be.  I think I’m going to use “Girl on Fire” as my 2018 mantra.   I want to be able to describe and/or think of myself as a girl on fire.   Moving toward her goals and not letting anyone stop her.  I’m going to put this on my bulletin board (which only has a picture of snoopy hugging woodstock on it.  I know.  Sad.  It could be used for so much more) and look at it every day.

A girl on fire who writes everyday.  That’s me.

What is your mantra for 2018?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today Sucks

 

I’m not finishing NaNoWriMo.  I’m still working on the first draft of my  novel, but not at 1,700 words a day.  I tried my best to write 1,700 words a day, but with the busy week I had last week and then walking away from the house we put a bid on was just too much.

I never knew trying to purchase a house would be this difficult.  We walked away this time because we felt the seller was trying to hide something because they didn’t want us to get the home inspected AND they wanted more money.  I’m sure they wanted more money to pay for part or all of what they knew was wrong with the house, but I wasn’t going to pay more or NOT get the house inpected.  The counter offer didn’t leave me with a good feeling and I had trust my gut and walk away.  It was a hard decision.  I’m finally ready to buy a house, but things aren’t working out.  I’m bummed out today because of it.

I took empty boxes to the dump yesterday that I brought home from work to pack stuff up in for the first house we lost.  I had left them in the basement hoping we would find a house and I could continue packing, but since this house didn’t work I’m not sure what to do now so I took ten boxes to the dump.  I’ll take the rest next week.  I’ll probably unpack the some of the coffee cups and tupperware items and bring them upstairs, but I’m unsure what to do with the rest.  It just sucks.  We got our hopes up again and it didn’t work out.

I thought the first house would work out because I was ready, but it didn’t.  I put myself out there again and that house didn’t work out either.  I know everything works out for a reason, but I don’t know why this isn’t working.  I’m at a good place in my life.  My marriage is great.  I have a good job and great coworkers.  I’m beginning to get to know the real me.  The Menopause me.  I’m at a good spot in my life now so I don’t know why this house thing isn’t working.

I don’t even want to look for another house because I’m afraid of getting hurt again.  I’m just hurt and disappointed and I know my husband is too.   We really wanted this work.  I’m grateful that we found out right away and we didn’t lose any money, but it still stings.  I was cleaning the office today and found some brochures with paint samples in so I tossed those in the garbage and I put the paperwork for the two houses in the basement.  Maybe if I get rid of the old……

Today is one of those days where I would love to curl up on the couch with my dad, not say a word and watch football.  I always felt better when my dad put his arm around my shoulders, but I can’t do that because he’s not here.  That makes me miss him even more so I’ve just been puttering around the house, cleaning the office, watching football and writing a little bit.

I know that in time we will know why those houses didn’t work, but I just wish I knew now.  My mom and coworkers tell me to be patient and that everything will work out.  I’m not so sure.  I lost my faith and feel that I will be renting forever.  I want out my cousins house and to get into my house.  I don’t want to live here anymore.

Maybe I need this process to grow in ways that I don’t understand right now.  Maybe I’m suppose to be in the house I’m renting right now for what ever reason.

Maybe.  Maybe.  Maybe.

All I know right now is today sucks.

 

Being My Own Best Friend

“Be nice to Tim.”  One of my coworkers told me today.

Screw that, I thought to myself.

The problem with Tim is that I’ve known him for 25 years.  I stopped hanging around with him 23 years ago because he was immature, nothing was his fault, he didn’t have to work @ work, but everyone else did and he wanted everyone to feel sorry for him. He was a big baby.  Fast forward 23 years years and he’s still the immature person he back then (which drives me crazy) and I have to work with him.

Before he transferred to my department I told my boss about the issues I had with him.  For example, wandering aimlessly around the building to waste time, saying stupid comments and showing inappropriate pictures of 1/2 naked men to me on his phone during break.  She listened and then he started working in my department two days later.

As I working today I was thinking about how I would never have him as a friend again outside of work.  I’m on a different level than he is.  It doesn’t mean I’m better than he is.  Just more mature.  I have a different work ethic than he does.  He comes to work to talk.  I come to work to work.  He is the king of looking busy but doing nothing.

I don’t have a lot of close girl friends.  I do a lot of things with my mom, my sister and my brother.  I do things with some of my sister in laws.  I am friends with some of my coworkers, but not really outside of work.  We may text once in awhile outside of work and go out for appetizers after work or sometimes out for lunch, but I spend most of my weekends with my husband.

If I were looking for a friend what traits would I be looking for?  Do I even know?  I don’t think this is something I have thought about a lot.  People think a lot about what they are looking for in a spouse, but do they really think about what qualities they want in a friend?  My friendships from my younger years consisted of people who I could trust, have a good conversation with, laugh with and have a good time with at the bar.  This criteria doesn’t apply anymore.  My bar days are long gone.  I’d rather stay home.

I would want someone who has my back.  Who will keep my secrets.  Who will make time for me.  Who will be there for me in thick and thin.  Who has my best interests at heart.  Who will love me for who I am and will always be in my corner.  Who will cheer me on and give me a shoulder to cry on when I need it.  Who will pick up the phone when I call.  Who will read my writing and give me an honest critique even if she has to tell me it sucks.    Who will encourage me to be the best person I can be.  Who will push me when I need to be pushed.  Who will encourage me to try new things and get out of my comfort zone.

A couple of years ago I gave up a friendship that I have had since grade school.  She lived across the street from my parents house while we were growing up.  She has lived out of state since high school and we kept in touch.  The problem with the friendship is that I wasn’t getting what I wanted.  I was always last.  Every time she came to town I got the leftover time slots that her family didn’t want.  I wanted a friend that I could talk and laugh with while we talked on the phone once in awhile.  I wanted to hear a voice.  Her voice.   She didn’t want that.  She wanted to communicate through email and then Facebook.  I wanted a phone call when something important happened in her life.  She wanted to post the occasion on Facebook and I was suppose to type my answer.  I didn’t feel it was a friendship.  I didn’t felt like I mattered to her.  I didn’t feel I would be missing anything if I did end the friendship and I was right. I’m not missing anything.  She always told me how important our friendship was to her, but after I ended it there has been times that she was in town and she hasn’t knocked on my door once.  If I was that important wouldn’t she come over when she was in town and try to  reconnect with me?  You would think so.  I have realized that she’s all talk and no action.

I guess I’m too old to put up with people’s crap anymore.  I want a friendship that makes me a better person.   That makes me think about things in new ways.  That wants and encourages me to grow and change and become the person I am meant to become.  That encourages me to work through my issues while she works through hers.  That encourages me to follow my heart and sing my own song and do what I love.

As I am typing this I realize that I haven’t been a very good friend to myself and the things that I want in a friendship are maybe the things I should be giving myself and the way I should be treating myself.  Maybe my inner self is trying to teach me something.

Maybe I need to be my own best friend.

 

 

The Christmas Season Starts On November 24

On the way home from work last Thursday I was flipping through the radio stations to find Christmas music on one of the stations.  I wanted to call that station and complain.  What is wrong with these people?  Each year the Christmas season is shoved in our faces a little earlier than the year before and I hate it.

Christmas comes after Thanksgiving and not before.

I was in Madison, WI this weekend.  (Go Badgers!!)  Santa was at the both of the malls, each mall had their Christmas decorations up, Christmas music was playing and the Red Kettles were out.  This shouldn’t be.  It is way too early.  I refuse to put money into the Red Kettle until after Thanksgiving.

This really ticks me off.  Why are we retailers so quick to forget about Thanksgiving? I know they have to worry about their bottom line and they each want a piece of the Christmas money pie, but before Thanksgiving?  Give me a break.   The first 23 days of November should be for Thanksgiving and after that should be for Christmas.  We definitely have lost something over the past five or ten years.

I would like go back to the quieter, more peaceful, less stressful days.  A world where Santa didn’t wake up until the day after Thanksgiving.  A world where no one in retail had to work on Thanksgiving.  A world where people got together because they enjoyed being together, laughing, enjoyed sharing and learning about tradition and had a grateful heart.  A world where there were no cells phone (not that I don’t think a cell phone has a time and a place because I do) and people actually talked to one another.

I find it really sad that some retail employees don’t get to spend Thanksgiving with their families because the store they work at opens for Black Friday deals on Thanksgiving evening.  It’s ridiculous.  The retailers are sending a message to their employees that they don’t care about them, their families and carrying on the Thanksgiving holiday tradition.  That all  they care more about is making a dollar.  Why can’t one of these big box stores take a stand and close on Thanksgiving?  I know they are afraid of losing money, but I think they would gain respect.  Respect from me and the tens of thousands of people who care about the tradition of Thanksgiving and who would possibly boycott the other stores.  I know I would boycott.

I just think we are going in the wrong direction.  A direction that doesn’t promote the sacredness of family and spending time together.  Shopping can wait until the day after Thanksgiving.

This is my Sunday rant.  Well, Monday rant, because I had computer problems yesterday and couldn’t use my computer.  😦

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At least in my eyes it is.

 

 

 

 

 

This weekend was way to early to be waking up Santa.