Author: chrissy

Fun Friday:  Brain Dump

I know it’s late.  It’s after midnight so it’s really not Friday.

But it’s still Friday to me so here it goes.

I did a brain dump today at work. 

I have 3 blogs.  This one, a writing one and one for my business.

For the last couple weeks I have had all of these ideas for posts swimming around in my head so I decided to get them all on paper today.

I made a list for each blog.

Each time I had an idea I stopped working and wrote ideas down.  Not something I do regularly but I did it today.

I feel better that they are out of my head.

It gives me a sense of direction.  It gives me a starting point for the rest of the year.

It was an outlet for me today.

I really liked doing it.  It brought me joy.

I’m going to stop now.  I hope this makes sense.  I’ve been trying to play with my dog while I’m writing this.

I’ve been home from work for about 45 minutes.  He  wants to play and lick me to death and I  want to write this post so I had to compromise.

Tomorrow I will start organizing my lists and see where it goes from there.

It’s bedtime now so good night.

That Work Thing: I Can Leave

I can leave anytime I want.

This second.  In the next hour. 

Tomorrow. 

Next week.

Whenever I damn well chose to.

I used to think I couldn’t.  I had to retire from here.  That I had too much vacation too lose.  That I couldn’t start over at 59 years old.

But you know what?

I can leave. 

I’ll have to figure out vacation.

I can start over at 59.

I realized this today.

How freeing this is!

I used to think I didn’t want to leave the people I’ve worked with for forever.  That I would cry for days.

But you know what?

I don’t care.

Fuck that.

I’ve been loyal to them for to long.

It’s time for me.

It’s time for me to let my light shine.  To show who I really am.  How smart I am and that I am capable of so much more than I’ve led on.

I want to start living for me.

Is this selfish?

You know what? 

I don’t care.

It’s about time I become selfish and care about about myself.

What I want.  What I need.

If I don’t no one else is going to.

Freedom.

I’ve been wanting to get that tattooed on my arm but didn’t know why.

Now I do.

I can leave and give myself freedom.

I can leave.

What a beautiful thought.

Listening To It Rain

It’s 10:55 a.m. and I’m still in bed at our trailer.

I’m listening to the pitter-patter of raindrops on the trailer roof.

My husband is gone with his brother.

I was suppose to be at a craft fair with the girls but I’m not feeling good so I didn’t go.

I’m enjoying the much needed quiet time with my dog.

I’m listening to the rain and breathing. 

In and out.  In and out.  Letting go of whatever I need to.

I haven’t done this in so long and it feels so darn good.

I suppose I will have to get up at sometime. 

Just not now.

The pup and I are going to chill for a little while longer… 

Fun Friday: Having A Garage Sale

It’s a beautiful day today.

A good day to let go of some stuff.

I’m at my mom’s hanging out with my mom and brothers and my aunt talking about old times while we handle the garage sale.

It’s fun.

Anything that we haven’t used in a year I put in the sale so hopefully I’ll make some cash and have some empty space in my house.

Empty space that I don’t plan on filling.

That’s a good thing.

Fun Friday: I Wish Acupuncture Had A Snooze Button

I love going to accupuncture. It calms me and I don’t want to get up off the table.

I want to stay there forever.

It happened this morning.

I know the second time the assistant comes into the room it’s over.  My time is up.  I have to go back to reality.

I wish there was a way I could push a button and keep the door closed and the assistant out.  Just like a snooze button.

I am not ready.

I never am.

For 20 minutes I don’t have anything to do except to breathe and dump everything out of my head.

Relax.

For 20 minutes I can lay there and just be.  No where to be. No where to go.

I love it.

That Work Thing:  Are We In Jail?

I’m using jail for lack of better term.  I have never been in jail nor do I ever want to be so I really don’t know.  I guess what I’m talking about is control and making decisions for us.

So here’s what I have been thinking.

The companies that we work for decide the following for us:

Our start and end time of our work day.

How many hours a week we work.

When our breaks and lunch are and how long they are and where we can take our breaks and eat our lunch.

How many vacation days and sick days we get.

They tell us what to do and how long it should take.

Believe in things and people that we know are wrong.

Believe that management knows best.

They decide what our wage will be per hour and how we will be paid.

What department we will be in and where we will sit.

What our desk looks like and what will be on it.

What clothes and shoes we can wear – aka.- dress code.

So many rules.  So much control.

I’ve never thought about it like this before and it kinda makes me mad.

No individualism.  No what is best for the individual.  Just someone or a group of people deciding things for us 8 or more hours a day.

I know the workplace needs to be consistent, but the older I get the more my menopausal anger kicks in and I get bucky.

Maybe this why I am writing about work.

I’m realizing what it is all about.

How come I didn’t see this earlier?

That Work Thing:  The Third 8:  Play

Is the third 8 really play?

I don’t think so.

I think its more than that. 

I think it should be called chores.

For me it’s grocery shopping, cooking, making appointments and going to appointments, walking the dog, laundry, selling stuff on marketplace, working on my side hustle among many other things.

I don’t really see this as play.

And do we really get 8 hours?

No.  Not with my commute time and an overtime hour it’s s more like 5 or 6.

As I’m writing this I’m starting to feel claustrophobic and boxed in and a little frazzled because after looking at how much time i really do have it isnt a lot.

Trying to cram everything into five or six hours a day is ridiculous.

It’s not fair.

It’s not right.

So why do we do we do it?

It seems like my life is mostly work right now.

I don’t like it.

I definately need to work on my life/work balance.

Another question I have is why has this been the norm for so long?

It definately isn’t working for me even though it’s suppose to but this is what I have been taught.  It’s supposed to work because it worked for my parents and their parents.

But did it?  Or is it because they just conformed and didnt say anything because back then you kept your mouth shut.

The more I think about it the more I question why we do things the way we do.

It’s time I start looking at different solutions or ways of thinking.

The reason why I think the 32 hour work week won’t work is because different people need different things.

I need more time to pursue my dreams.  Time is an big issue for me.

This is my issue, not my employeers.

Almost time for work.  Lol.  Gotta run.

Good Night FromVegas

I don’t know what happened to the bottom right corner, but I like the lights of the city.

I am missing Toby Keith on this trip. We used to eat at his restaurant everytime we came to vegas before Covid. I (and probably 90% of the customers) secretly wished he would walk on stage and sing a song.

What a handsome man with an amazing heart.

RIP my friend.

I loved that bar.