Author: chrissy

Eye Candy

I’m watching Sunday Night Football.

Steelers vs. Raiders.

I love watching football. I love both teams.

There is just one thing I can’t decide.

Who is more handsome…J.J. Watt or Jimmy Garoppolo.

Usually I don’t even care, but these two have definately caught my attention.

What are your thoughts? Is there anyone who floats your boat?

It doesn’t hurt to have a little eye candy while watching the game.

I’m enjoying it.

That Work Thing: Back To Reality

Back to reality.

I heard a 60 some year old woman say this at the Denver Airport on Labor Day.

Why is there such a disconnect between work and vacation?

We work and save to go on vacation only to go back to work after that vacation needing a vacation from our vacation.

Back to a job we possibly hate with people we possibly hate and that sucks the life out of us.

Back to chores and routines and bills and whatever else weighes us down.

Shouldn’t our lives be like a little bit of our vacation everyday? A little bit of happiness and sunshine.

Why do we limit ourselves to only two or three weeks out of the year of that serenity?

I’m going to think about what things I like about vacation the most. Some things that come to mind are alone time with my husband and two and a half hours of writing time on the plane.

Maybe I can find some way of incorporating these things into my weekly life to start with and then maybe my daily life.

Maybe mini vacations into my week.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

My Dog Pays Me In Kisses

There are some people who joke that their dogs are freeloaders. They eat, drink and get treats for free and they lay around and sleep all day.

I don’t see it that way. kissed. Think of my dog as a freeloader.

You know why?

Because he pays me in kisses, tail wags and lots and lots of love.

Unconditional love.

Every day and in every way uncondtional love.

The kisses and tail wags when we get up. The smiles when we are walking. The playful barks when we are playing. The love, tail wags, and kisses when I get home. The loving eye contact throughout the day. The snuggle time before we go night night.

He has given me and taught me more about happiness and unconditional love than I have ever known.

For this I am forever grateful.

No, he doesn’t have to pay for anything as long as keeps loving me. I will gladly go to work so I can provide him with everything he needs to be happy, content and loved. I don’t have a problem with that.

I am totally happy being paid in kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

Getting It All Out

I am in El Paso this morning listening to my grandson scream and cry out and talk about things I dont understand. He’s overtired and mad as hell.

He’s in his room alone getting all of his emotions out.

Why don’t we as adults do this?

When we are mad or sad why dont we go in our room and get it all out? Give ourselves the time we need to express ourselves.

Scream. Rant. Cry out.

Because we can’t. We have a meeting or work or the kids need something or our parents need something.

Sometimes we just don’t have the time.

I’m better at this than I used to be. I try to give my self the time to be aware of how I am feeling and to find an outlet.

The house is quiet now.

He’s sleeping. I think……

He’s not afraid to cry and get it all out.

We shouldn’t be either.

My First Client Was Awesome!

I had my first client a week ago Thursday and it went very well.

Her name was Sandy and she was super easy to work with.

She hired me to help her figure out what to do with the rest of her mom’s antiques. I made some suggestions on pricing and where to bring it.

I learned a lot.

I was there an hour and made $35.

I put the $5 on my bulletin board to remind me if there is one client there is more.

She’s going to call me when she is ready for phase 2.

I can’t wait!

1.55B Dollar Dreaming

The Mega Millions drawing is tonight.

1.55B dollars.

I bought some tickets, but I don’t want all that money.

But I will take a million.

That would be enough to last me for the rest of my life.

I don’t want the responsibility. I don’t want the people on my butt begging for money. I don’t want all of the work.

But on the other hand I could help so many people with that money. I could start a foundation or foundations. I could buy a business or start a business. The opportunities are endless.

It’s nice to daydream once in awhile.

What are your thoughts? How much do you think you would need or would want?

Grade Shool Memories

The first day of kindergarten I cried and cried when my mom left. The teachers told me not to cry. On the way home my mom told me not to cry.

In first grade we lived with my grandma while our house was being built. The two boys that lived next to my grandma chased me home from school a lot. I was scared to walk home. My mom told me a couple of years ago she knew but did nothing to help me. She didn’t wanted to upset my grandma’s neighbor.

The 2nd half of first grade i started at a new school. I didn’t fit in. The popular girls made fun of me. They didn’t like my hair or my voice. The other girls had their own groups.

I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t think anyone would help or be my friend. So I stayed alone.

Fast forward 50 years.

I feel I am kinda in this situation now. 40 years old women acting like they are in grade school and I am on the outside.

And all of these feelings from grade school are coming to the surface. As I feel them I am letting them go.

I am not telling you this to feel sorry for me as we all have our own stories of being bullied.

All summer I have felt like the odd man out and I couldn’t figure out why. When I was with these women I felt we were in grade school but I didn’t know why.

My intuition kept telling me to trust my feelings.

I tried to keep to myself. Observing the situation while wondering why I felt the way I did. I didn’t understand why I felt the way I did.

Until tonight.

It’s 4 am and I have been laying in bed with my pup. I don’t feel good. Sinus infection. Yucky stomach. I can’t sleep. Too hot. Can’t get comfy.

And out of nowhere these memories come to the surface and suddenly everything makes sense.

In grade school I never felt anyone would help me so I didn’t share I was being bullied. I just took it.

Now I know why I’ve stayed on the outside of the three women. Some of the situations feel like experiences I had grade school.

I have to remind myself it’s different this time. I am in charge. Of myself. Of the situation. Of the way I act. I can walk away.

I’ve been telling myself all summer that I am too old for their behavior. Now I know why.

I don’t need their validation. I am worthy.

I am fine by myself and I enjoy my own company.

It’s nice to understand why I feel the way I do.

I am grateful for the opportunity to let go of all of the hurtful grade school memories that i have been carrying around with me.

They do not define me. I define myself.

I can trust myself and my feelings.

It’s ok to be me no matter what others think.

I am me and I can move forward whether they like what I do or not.

I am fine the way I am.

Thanks for reading my 4 am ramblings.

I feel better. Maybe I am sick so that these feelings could come to the surface and that part of myself can start to heal.

If we don’t heal those areas we will always be in the same place and not beilable to move forward.

Thank you f, w and g for helping me set myself free.