The End Of My Hutch

I don’t know how I published the unfinished post, but I did.  It’s late and I’m tired.  Oh well.  Shit happens.  Anyway, here’s the last of my post.

I knew when we moved the hutch would have to go or I would be in the same position as I was before.  A mini hoarder.  Everything I didn’t want upstairs I would throw in the hutch in the basement.  I dealt with some of it before we moved, but I still have three or four or more of boxes of crap that was in the hutch that I have to deal with.

What was in the hutch?  A money affirmation book that I started writing 20 years ago, but never finished.  I have all 365 affirmations written, but they aren’t very good.  The paper is yellowed and the type is faded.  I don’t want to toss yet will I ever work on it or even look at it again?  Not sure, but I can’t toss it.  There was at least thirty or more books I bought at garage sales that I was going to read, but never did.  (I think I have a home for some of these.  At the campground they have a library box on a post with books in it.  I think I will take them there.  There was only a couple of books in it.)  A photo album of the first three years of my niece’s life that I scrapbooked for her.  I gave it to her a couple of weeks ago.  She’s 16 and a half.  I stopped scrapbooking the album when I started dating my husband.  I thought I would continue to work on it, but never did.  Surprise.  Surprise.  A huge fake book that I keep my laundry money stash in.  I put a dollar in a jar for every load of laundry I do.  I keep a stash because if some major appliance breaks and we have to purchase a new one it’s not a big deal because I have a down payment saved.  There was about forty writing magazines in there.  The Writer.  Writer’s Digest. And other misc. magazines I picked up along the way.  What I was saving them for I have no clue.  There was a bunch of other stuff in there.  Seasonal stuff.  Pens and pencils.  Markers.  A scissors.  Packing tape.  Garage sale stuff.

My hutch wasn’t packed, but there was enough stuff in it.  The question I keep asking myself is — if I didn’t know what to do with it when I put it in the hutch why did I think I would know what to do with it after?  I have no clue.  That’s why it’s still in boxes.  Because I have no clue what to do with most of it.  I know it will probably go in a tub or two in the closet in my office.  Probably the things I’m most attached to.  Emotional ties.  Maybe stupid ties that I don’t quite understand right now.

We were at the trailer (finally) this weekend so I didn’t have to deal with it.  I was going to deal with it tonight, but I sat in the chair and watched tv and or napped.  I’ll probably deal with it during the week.  I have two boxes for the thrift store started at the bottom of the basement stairs.  I know I have to give some of it away and/or shred it.  Who knows how long the boxes will be at bottom of the stairs.  I think I just need a break from all of this moving/sorting/purging crap.

I’m embarrassed I have all of this crap and kinda pissed off at myself that I didn’t deal with it before.  I didn’t want to.  Out of sight.  Out of mind.  Sad as that is that is the truth.

I’m glad my hutch is gone.  It forces me to look at things from a different perspective and only buy things that I need or really, really want.  The things need to serve a purpose.  I can’t buy things anymore because they are cute or because they are an impulse buy.  I want to live more simply.

It’s going to take awhile to get to more simply in my world.